A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the  counter,and sees that it's filled to
the brim with $10 bills.  He  guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it.
He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in  the jar?"
"Well..., you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you  get all the money in the jar
and the keys to a brand new Lexus."
The man certainly  isn't going to pass this up, so he asks,

"What are the three tests?"

"You gotta pay first," says  the bartender, "those are the rules."

So, after thinking it over a  while, the man gives the bartender $10
which he stuffs into the jar.

"Okay," says the bartender,  "here's what you need to do: 

First - You have to drink a whole  quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less,
and you can't make a face while doing it."

"Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a  bad tooth. 
You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands." 

"Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never  had sex. 
You have to take care of that problem." 

The man is stunned!  "I know I paid my $10 -- but  I'm not an idiot!  I won't do it! 
You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then do all  those other things!"
"Your call," says the bartender, "but, your  money stays where it is."

As time goes on, the man has a few more  drinks and finally says,

"Where's the damn tequila?!"

He grabs the bottle with  both hands and drinks it as fast as he can.Tears stream
down both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a face -- and he drinks  it in 58 seconds!

Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the  pit bull chained to a pole. 
Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming,  and sounds of a
terrible fight -then, nothing but silence!

Just when they  think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar.   
His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from bites and gashes  all over his body.
He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old woman  with the bad tooth?"

Hehehehe... She prob'ly upstairs waiting patiently, maybe polishing her wooden eye....

Quote from: WoodBurner on March 02, 2014, 08:26:39 AM
A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the  counter,and sees that it's filled to
the brim with $10 bills.  He  guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it.
He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in  the jar?"
"Well..., you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you  get all the money in the jar
and the keys to a brand new Lexus."
The man certainly  isn't going to pass this up, so he asks,

"What are the three tests?"

"You gotta pay first," says  the bartender, "those are the rules."

So, after thinking it over a  while, the man gives the bartender $10
which he stuffs into the jar.

"Okay," says the bartender,  "here's what you need to do: 

First - You have to drink a whole  quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less,
and you can't make a face while doing it."

"Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a  bad tooth. 
You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands." 

"Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never  had sex. 
You have to take care of that problem." 

The man is stunned!  "I know I paid my $10 -- but  I'm not an idiot!  I won't do it! 
You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then do all  those other things!"
"Your call," says the bartender, "but, your  money stays where it is."

As time goes on, the man has a few more  drinks and finally says,

"Where's the damn tequila?!"

He grabs the bottle with  both hands and drinks it as fast as he can.Tears stream
down both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a face -- and he drinks  it in 58 seconds!

Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the  pit bull chained to a pole. 
Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming,  and sounds of a
terrible fight -then, nothing but silence!

Just when they  think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar.   
His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from bites and gashes  all over his body.
He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old woman  with the bad tooth?"

He shoulda made notes.