Some simple truths (from an email received today)

Started by PeterR, September 04, 2012, 07:54:29 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

PeterR

SIMPLE TRUTH 1
Partners help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.

SIMPLE TRUTH 2
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and saying "Congrats".
But, none of them come and touch the man's penis and say "Good job".
Moral of the story: "Hard work is never really appreciated."

SIMPLE TRUTH 3
No Underwear - Makes Sense to Me
A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch in the rocking chair wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down.
'Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!' he exclaimed.
The old man looked off in the distance without answering.
'Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?' he asked again.
The old man slowly looked at him and said,
'Well....last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea.'

FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE
1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-hole's name.
3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.
5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.

THERE YOU HAVE IT... and remember, life is good, well the option hasn't been reported back on yet.

"He was born with the gift of laughter and the sense that the world was mad."

walkstall

A politician thinks of the next election. A statesman, of the next generation.- James Freeman Clarke

Always remember "Feelings Aren't Facts."

Solar

Official Trump Cult Member

#WWG1WGA

Q PATRIOT!!!

Ford289HiPo

Do cannibals refuse to eat clowns because they taste funny?