'A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.'
Jack Benny (1894-1974)
'A few decades ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please don't let Kevin Bacon die.'
Bill Murray
'Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.'
Chris Rock
The wife's mother said: 'When you're dead, I'll dance on your grave.'
I said: 'Good. I'm being buried at sea.'
Les Dawson
I like to play chess with old men in the park, although it's hard to find 32 of them.'
Emo Phillips
His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.'
Mae West
Oliver Hardy: 'Didn't you once tell me that you had an uncle?'
Stan Laurel: 'Sure, I've got an uncle. Why?'
Oliver: 'Now we're getting somewhere. Is he living?'
Stanley: 'No. He fell through a trap door and broke his neck.'
Oliver: 'Was he building a house?'
Stanley: 'No, they were hanging him.'
From The Laurel-Hardy Murder Case (1930). Stan Laurel (1890-1965), Oliver Hardy (1892-1957).
I remember the last thing my nan said to me before she died. 'What are you doing here with that hammer?''
Lee Mack
Oldies but still goodies!! :thumbsup:
Quote from: kroz on January 01, 2016, 01:29:38 PM
Oldies but still goodies!! :thumbsup:
God knows I miss the quality comedy of the likes of Laurel and Hardy. :laugh:
Quote from: Solar on January 01, 2016, 03:31:45 PM
God knows I miss the quality comedy of the likes of Laurel and Hardy. :laugh:
There were a lot of hilarious comedians back in the 50s and 60s...... Red Skelton, Carol Burnett, Lucille Ball, Jack Benny, Dick Van Dyke, and many more.. And they were all funny without being vulgar or profane. It was all clean fun.
I miss it so much. There is NOTHING worth watching on TV today. I only watch news and non fiction programming.... never sitcoms! They are hideous from what little I have been exposed to. Vile and immoral at every level!
Quote from: kroz on January 01, 2016, 04:14:20 PM
There were a lot of hilarious comedians back in the 50s and 60s...... Red Skelton, Carol Burnett, Lucille Ball, Jack Benny, Dick Van Dyke, and many more.. And they were all funny without being vulgar or profane. It was all clean fun.
I miss it so much. There is NOTHING worth watching on TV today. I only watch news and non fiction programming.... never sitcoms! They are hideous from what little I have been exposed to. Vile and immoral at every level!
Yep, same here. In fact, I think I'll look on Netflix for some Laurel and Hardy movies for the week.