An Old Jew is taking a walk and sees a lamp, he picks up the lamp and rubs it, a genie pops out.

The genie says "I'll grant you one wish".

The old Jew reaches into his pocket and takes out a crumpled map and says "You see this area, this is called the Middle East. There's been nothing but war and bloodshed here for centuries ... can you do something?"

And the genie goes "Even with my power I can't do anything about that area ... can I grant you another wish?"

So he says "I've been married for 40 years and my wife has never given me a blowjob, could you get her to do that for me, just once?"

The genie goes "Can I look at that map again?"

 
This joke is true, I had a Jew girlfriend once, a true JAP, Playboy quality, but spoiled beyond belief and the BJ thing is true in and amongst her friends.

Quote from: Solar on October 13, 2012, 08:30:41 AM

This joke is true, I had a Jew girlfriend once, a true JAP, Playboy quality, but spoiled beyond belief and the BJ thing is true in and amongst her friends.

Then there was Sam and Sadie.  Married for 40 years.  Then Sam passed away and Sadie had him cremated.  She carried the urn containing Sam's ashes into the house and was about to place the urn on the mantle over the fireplace ... but she hesitated.

Sadie removed a pinch of Sam's ashes and placed them in the palm of her hand.  Taking a deep breath, Sadie blew Sam's ashes into the fireplace.

"There you go, Sam," said Sadie, "what you've been begging for for 40 years.  There's your blowjob." 

Quote from: PeterR on October 13, 2012, 11:32:04 AM


Then there was Sam and Sadie.  Married for 40 years.  Then Sam passed away and Sadie had him cremated.  She carried the urn containing Sam's ashes into the house and was about to place the urn on the mantle over the fireplace ... but she hesitated.

Sadie removed a pinch of Sam's ashes and placed them in the palm of her hand.  Taking a deep breath, Sadie blew Sam's ashes into the fireplace.

"There you go, Sam," said Sadie, "what you've been begging for for 40 years.  There's your blowjob."

Ouch!!!
Sam's brother took Sadie to the ocean to fulfill Sam's last two requests, seeing how Sadie was now anchored to a walker from a bad hip, they slowly walked out onto the pier to dump the remaining ashes into the ocean, when Sam's brother looked at Sadie he said, I am here to honor Sam's final request and fulfill your wishes of the last 40 years.

He leaned forward, drew back his size 12 boot and swiftly kicked her square in the ass and into the ocean.
On her decent, he yelled, "Now You've finally Been Screwed"!