Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess with beautifully flowing red hair happened upon a frog. The frog hopped into the princess's lap and said: Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper young prince that I am. And then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in our castle, with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so. That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself: I don't f***ing think so.