Conservative Political Forum

General Category => Jokes => Topic started by: tbone0106 on April 02, 2011, 03:11:14 PM

Title: US Navy's Newest Aircraft Carriers
Post by: tbone0106 on April 02, 2011, 03:11:14 PM

3 New Navy Ships:

USS RONALD REAGAN

Seeing it next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective... ENORMOUS!

(https://conservativepoliticalforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1103.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fg463%2Ftbone0106%2FUSSRonaldReagan.jpg&hash=74664c0b9a47678d729623b6b88b542e617cac54)


When the Bridge pipes 'Man the Rail' there is a lot of rail to man on this monster: shoulder to shoulder, these sailors surround approximately 4.5 acres of flight deck.  Her displacement is about 100,000 tons with full complement.   

CapabilitiesSizeCrew Accommodations

USS BILL CLINTON

The USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail today from its home port of Vancouver , BC


(https://conservativepoliticalforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1103.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fg463%2Ftbone0106%2FUSSWilliamJClinton.jpg&hash=866a42341ff04523991652c238530bcd7237716d)


The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton 'for his foresight in military budget cuts' and his conduct while holding the (formerly dignified) office of President.

The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched on the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.

As a standing order, there are no firearms allowed on board.

This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.

An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive.  The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.   

Crew accommodations include a minimum of three brilliant white bedsheets per person, any of which can be quickly and easily converted into the universally recognized signal flag of peaceful intention.

In times of conflict, the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada .


USS  BARACK OBAMA


(https://conservativepoliticalforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1103.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fg463%2Ftbone0106%2FUSSBHObama.jpg&hash=cb534a60ac28827890a7507e678da1c5e16709f1)


Details are  vague.     

But don't you worry..........he has a plan[/list]
Title: Re: US Navy's Newest Aircraft Carriers
Post by: walkstall on April 02, 2011, 03:30:46 PM
 ;D ;D ;D

I was going to ask why on the joke page.  LOL

I do think that boat is a bit big for o b.  But then I remember his wife.  :o 
Title: Re: US Navy's Newest Aircraft Carriers
Post by: tbone0106 on April 02, 2011, 04:06:42 PM
Um, I think that IS Michelle...  :o
Title: Re: US Navy's Newest Aircraft Carriers
Post by: walkstall on April 02, 2011, 05:23:06 PM
Quote from: tbone0106 on April 02, 2011, 04:06:42 PM
Um, I think that IS Michelle...  :o

yes Wide Body. ;D
Title: Re: US Navy's Newest Aircraft Carriers
Post by: quiller on April 03, 2011, 10:16:34 AM
Nice summary of the Reagan. The rest of your post was more fact than joke.


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Title: Re: US Navy's Newest Aircraft Carriers
Post by: U_Kay on April 04, 2011, 10:03:23 PM
I roared in laughter when I saw the little bass boat and the donkey... oops... I mean Michelle!

Quote from: quiller on April 03, 2011, 10:16:34 AM
Nice summary of the Reagan. The rest of your post was more fact than joke.


(https://conservativepoliticalforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages54.fotki.com%2Fv555%2Fphotos%2F1%2F1595431%2F8185280%2F35obamas_peacetime_navy230x110-vi.jpg&hash=a009815ff8b8f320486dc4631a19352d688a7fe6)

Haha!!
Title: Re: US Navy's Newest Aircraft Carriers
Post by: lug-nut on April 05, 2011, 04:33:38 AM
Quote from: tbone0106 on April 02, 2011, 04:06:42 PM
Um, I think that IS Michelle...  :o
No, that's "dirty" Harry Reid.
'Chelly's a wookie.