Those dumb blondes again!

Started by kroz, September 22, 2015, 09:55:50 AM

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kroz

The Blondes

Gas Prices
Two blondes were filling up at a gas station and the first blonde says to the second, "I bet these awful gas prices are going to go even higher."

The second blonde replies, "Won't affect me, I always put in just $10 worth."

Sleepless
A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door Neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says "I've had enough of this". She goes downstairs.

The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says,
"The dog is still barking what have you been doing?"

The blonde says "I've put the dog in our backyard, let's see how they like it.

Dutiful Wife
One day, Jill's husband came home from the office and found her sobbing convulsively.

"I feel terrible," she told him. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers."

"Forget it," consoled her husband. "Remember that I bought an extra pair of pants for that suit."

"Yes, and it's lucky for you that you did," said Jill, drying her eyes.

"I used them to patch the hole."

Look
Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said,

"Look at that dog with one eye!"

The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says, "Where?"

Cover The Walls
A blonde decided to redecorate her bedroom. She wasn't sure how many rolls of wallpaper she would need, but she knew that her blonde friend from next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in size.

"Buffy," she said, "How many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your bedroom?"

"Ten," said Buffy.

So the blonde bought the ten rolls of paper and did the job, but she had 2 rolls leftover. "Buffy," she said. "I bought ten rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom, but I've got 2 leftover!"
"Yes," said Buffy. "So did I."

Horse Sense
A blonde bought two horses and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that she cut off the tail of one horse, which worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. The second horse's tail tore in the same place and looked exactly like the other horse's tail. Our blonde friend was stuck again.

The neighbor then suggested that she notch the ear of one horse, which worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again, our blonde friend couldn't tell the two horses apart.

The neighbor then suggested that she measure the horses for height. When she did that, the blonde was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black one

Blonde Interview
The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, "If you could have a conversation with any person, living or dead, who would that be?"

The blonde quickly responded, "The living one."