Every year on St Patrick's Day Saint Patrick comes down out of Heaven and goes to an Irish pub.
This past St Patrick's day he goes to Murphy's local pub. Murphy walked in a see St Patrick sitting in the corner of the pub with his big green bishops hat, his green robes and his staff and he asks the bartender "Hey, is that St Patrick sitting in the corner?"

And the bartender says "Well yes it is, he's down for the day."

"Well I'd like to get him a drink" Say Murphy so he pays for his drink and sends over a Guinness.

Next O'Brian walks in and he too sees St Patrick and asks the bartender "Is that St Patrick?"

And again the bartender says "Well yes it is, he's down for the day."

"Well I'd like to get him a drink" Say O'Brian so he pays for his drink and sends over a Guinness.

Next Paddy walks in and he too sees St Patrick and asks the bartender "Is that Patron Saint of Ireland himself,?St Patrick?"

And again the bartender says "Well yes it is, he's down for the day. He'll have a Guinness if you'd like to send one over?"

"Sure thing" Says Paddy so he pays for his drink and sends over a Guinness.

Now when St Patrick is finished his pints and getting ready to head back up to heaven he walked over to Paddy and puts his hand on his shoulder and says "Thanks very much for the pint, it was very generous of you."

"Wow, my arthritis. I've had it for years but now I'm cured. Thank you St Patrick!"

Next St Patrick goes over to O'Brian and puts his hand in his head and says "Thanks very much for the pint, very decent of you."

And O'Brian goes "Wow, my migraine heads. I've had them for years but now they are gone. Thanks St Patrick"

And finally St Patrick walks over to Murphy but as he gets close Murphy backs away shouting "Don't touch me, I'm on Disability Allowance!"