My Best Friend

Started by Dan, October 25, 2010, 07:48:27 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Dan

I'm sure everyone has heard the old saying about dog being man's best friend. Some people believe it. Most don't. But in my case it was true.

I had a Great Dane. I got her as a 6 week old puppy. I have a photo of my ex-wife holding her in one hand when she was a week old. Initially I got her for my ex-wife who had a Great Dane as a girl and wanted another one. Well the wife left me and the dog stayed. Since then that sweet dog has seen me through some of the worst times of my life. I won't go into all the details, but let's just say there are country and western songs that seem cheerful when compared to the last 7 years of my life. In many ways my dog kept me sane. She gave me something to think about and worry about other than myself.

She had a lot of health problems. When breeders don't know what they are doing, it's easy to stack the deck against a puppy from a breed like Great Danes. At 7-8 months of age her adrenal and thyroid glands just basically shut down. After the fact I learned this was a common congenital defect in Great Danes. At the time I had no idea. And neither did the first dozen veterinarians I took her to see. They all thought she had food allergies. But she kept losing weight and getting infections. Eventually she developed mange and vets were starting to suggest she may need to be put down. Luckily the 13th veterinarian I saw was guy who was smart enough to do a blood test and find out what was really bothering her. We put her on hormone replacements and she improved almost immediately. Her skin infections all went away and she started being able to put on weight and she developed a very good appetite. 

The next few years were good ones. She felt good and was healthy. Since she was about a year old, every Saturday and Sunday we would go to some land my family has about 40 miles from my house. We have 143 acres that is mostly wooded, but also has fields and a large pond. Until she was 5 years old we would go all back in the woods. We followed pipeline roads and even deer trails. She was able to run and play and sniff all sorts of wonderful scents of animals she wouldn't normally run across in the city. To me, this was when she was able to be a real dog. We would sometimes stay back there for 4 or 5 hours just walking and seeing things. Occasionally we would run across a deer or a rabbit or a neighbor's cow that wandered over onto our land and she was having LOTS of fun trying to chase them. I knew how much she enjoyed this place not only because of how excited she would get but also because she would have such vivid dreams for the next couple of days after our weekend trips. While she was sleeping her little feet would move as if she was running and she would make little barking noises.

Once she hit about 5 years of age then other problems started catching up with us. She started limping so I took her to the vet for x-rays anticipating and orthopedic issue. What we found out is that she had hip dysplasia, multi-site arthritis in her legs, hips and spine and a condition called spondylosis. It started to become more painful for her to walk and she started to lose coordination and strength in her back legs. But we adjusted. We still went out to the family land. We just didn't walk as far and stayed closer to the farm house. But she still enjoyed going out there and laying in the sun and fresh air and playing with the Labrador retriever that stayed out there. Around this time we had our first serious risk of death. She developed something called stomach twist. Basically it's just what it sounds like. The stomachs twist and this action shuts off blood flow thus causing the abdomen to swell. It's very common in horses and certain breeds of dog that have a deep chest cavity. If it's caught early the animal can be saved. But if it isn't caught in the first couple of hours then the animal will likely die. Luckily we caught her very early. The surgery was a success and her stomach did not receive any debilitating damage. Next, shortly before her 6th birthday she suffered a partial paralysis of her right front leg. Whatever happened appeared to have occurred at the shoulder. It partially contracted but never became fully useless although she was never able to get it to a point where she could fully bear weight again. Coupled with the diminished use of her back legs this meant that her left front leg was her remaining good leg. She developed a limping gait, but I kept her on a good pain medicine called tramadol and she soon learned to compensate. She was never in undue pain and we learned to adjust. Then a few months later she had her first heart attack. It almost killed her. She was unresponsive and didn't even seem to know who I was for a couple of days. The vet didn't give her much of a chance. But I took her home, took two weeks off from work and nursed her back to health by feeding her baby food and pedialite and carrying her outside to go to the bathroom until she regained her strength. And once again we compensated. By this time she could still walk around the house, go to the bathroom under her own power, roam the yard a bit and lounge around near the farm house at our family land. The heart attack took away a lot of endurance, but she was still happy and could do the basics and still enjoyed her life very much. I viewed her like a person in their 70s or 80s who had some health problems, and needed some help, but who still enjoyed life. Of course with less exercise she lost muscle and got weaker, but she was still happy and relatively healthy. Then about a week ago I noticed she was a little weaker. I thought it was just a typical stomach bug that she sometimes gets. On Friday we loaded up in my SUV to go visit my mom and step father at their lake house. My dog was doing fine at the time. Just a little weak, but nothing to concern me at the time. She slept well that night and seemed fine when we went outside to let her go to the bathroom at about 6:30 Saturday morning. I noticed she went to the bathroom and seemed to struggle a bit. Then she took a few steps and just sat down. She seemed peaceful and just looked at the lake and sniffed around. I let her stay there for a while then asked her to come in with me. For the next couple of hours she sat on the air mattress on the floor as I talked to my mother. I noticed she started trying to cough something up. Like she had mucus or something. As it persisted and seemed to get worse I decided I would take her to the vet. In her weakened condition there was no sense in risking pneumonia. When I tried to get her to stand up to follow me out to the SUV, she couldn't stand on her own. Immediately I knew there was a problem. I carried her to the SUV and by this point she could barely lift her head. I drove her to the 1 hour drive to my vet's office and got in immediately. She was very weak, but peaceful and in no obvious distress. The vet examined her and said there had obviously been more heart attacks because the heart was very weak and erratic. He said her heart was so weak that her lungs were filling up and there was little they could do. He said at best they could prolong her life for a day or two in a vet's office, but that she would never be able to go home or to get better. She was simply too week to recover and the heart damage was just too extensive. So I kept my promise to her and put her to sleep. I had promised myself years ago that I wouldn't let her suffer. That as much as I loved her I would let go once any hope for an enjoyable life was gone. So I held her head in my arms and stroked her face and told her what a good dog she was and how much I loved her as the veterinarian did his job. And I watched the light leave her eyes and I know the last thought in her head was being close to me and hearing me tell her how much I loved her.

I believe in God without a doubt. That being said, I'm not nearly as religious as I ought to be. Like everyone else, I am a deeply flawed man and I haven't come to a point where I'm ready to fully turn that over to God. No excuses. That being said, on my drive home I talked to God. The first words out of my mouth were why did you do this. But then I thought about what I had just said and asked God to let me take those words back. Then I told him how grateful I was to allow me to have her for 7.5 years. That dog got me through some of the worst times of my life. When nothing was going well in my life and it seemed like everyone thought I was a son of a bitch, then one thing I could count on was coming home and seeing a dog that was happy to see me and that loved me unconditionally. And that is why she was my best friend.

I went back and I just reread a lot of this and I know I focused on a lot of the bad things, but I promise you she had a very good life. She stayed in an air conditioned house. She never slept on the floor. She was best friends with my 2 cats (also inherited from my ex-wife). She went out and ran and played in the country. And I was her best friend too. I gave her lots of attention every day. I talked to her. We played very often. And when she got older I took care of her. My dad said once that if reincarnation is real then he wants to come back as my dog. Anyway, she was my best friend and I was her best friend too. She was a wonderful dog. She had a life with challenges, but also filled with love and companionship. And when the end came, I honestly believe she knew it before me. And she was peaceful and without distress.

I'm bad at ending these sorts of things so I'll just say I love her, I miss her and I was very lucky to have her for 7.5 years. And if God had a place for dogs after they die, then I am sure he is looking out for my puppy. I don't know how it works, but I like to imagine my father is watching her for me until I come to join them.
If you believe big government is the solution then you are a liberal. If you believe big government is the problem then you are a conservative.

Solar

Dan, I'm so sorry for Your loss, I know just how much she meant to you, and can only imagine how rough life is right now.
Nothing in life bothers me more that the loss of a dog, don't know why, but it does.

Take time to heal, you may have lost her physically, but she will always be a part of who you are.
Official Trump Cult Member

#WWG1WGA

Q PATRIOT!!!

Dan

Thanks chief. She was a great dog and a great friend and I miss her a lot. Luckily I have a lot of friends and family to help me through it. I guess I have been preparing for this day mentally for about a year since her first heart attack, but you never really prepare for a loss. The most disorienting part of it is that I still keep expecting her to be there and it's like the realization hits me all over again several times per day.

This isn't the same thing as losing my Dad 3 months ago. Nothing can compare to losing a parent except maybe losing a child or a spouse (don't know about either of those). But this is really hard since she has been such a big part of my life.

But I know she isn't in pain or suffering or limited in any way anymore. And I like to imagine her running and playing in heaven with my Dad looking out for her till I get there.
If you believe big government is the solution then you are a liberal. If you believe big government is the problem then you are a conservative.

Shooterman

Condolences, Dan. It's tough to lose one, but she's not suffering any longer.
There's no ticks like Polyticks-bloodsuckers all Davy Crockett 1786-1836

Yankees are like castor oil. Even a small dose is bad.
[IMG]

Dan

Quote from: Shooterman on October 25, 2010, 08:41:24 AM
Condolences, Dan. It's tough to lose one, but she's not suffering any longer.

Thanks Shooterman. It's kinda like with people you love. You just want to fight so long as there is some hope for a little quality of life. But having her spend her last day or two in a vet's office hooked up to a bunch of tubes as she struggles for air is no way to finish her life. Basically she was comfortable and it was only the last couple of hours that were tough. And even then she was calm and peaceful. I honestly don't think she suffered at the end.
If you believe big government is the solution then you are a liberal. If you believe big government is the problem then you are a conservative.

quiller

Dan, although I'm not a dog person, I do entirely sympathize with (and applaud) your post.

In my case it started with a dear pal who lasted 17 years as my Official Cat, a neutered tiger tom who utterly spoiled me with unwavering love and devotion. He died in my arms in the vet's waiting-room. The next two cats lasted about 5 years each, both dying long before their time. The vet we use doesn't put an animal down in front of the owners, but yes, there are tears and emptiness after saying that final goodbye.

Honest tears shed over honest love is not a character flaw. These are the true friends, the ones who love us despite ourselves.

Dan

Quote from: quiller on October 25, 2010, 09:27:22 AM
Dan, although I'm not a dog person, I do entirely sympathize with (and applaud) your post.

In my case it started with a dear pal who lasted 17 years as my Official Cat, a neutered tiger tom who utterly spoiled me with unwavering love and devotion. He died in my arms in the vet's waiting-room. The next two cats lasted about 5 years each, both dying long before their time. The vet we use doesn't put an animal down in front of the owners, but yes, there are tears and emptiness after saying that final goodbye.

Honest tears shed over honest love is not a character flaw. These are the true friends, the ones who love us despite ourselves.

Actually I have 2 cats too. A boy and a girl that I got for my ex-wife about 2 months before we got the dog. When we split, I inherited the cats too. I never was a cat person before I got these two guys, but I love them dearly too and would never part with them. They were very good friends with the dog. And a couple of days before she passed I had a very cute photo of the girl cat sleeping next to the head of my Great Dane and barely touching her head to the dog's head. Very cute.

Neither of my cats fits the aloof stereotype. Both meet me at the door, talk to me, follow me around the house and absolutely love to cuddle. In short, their personalitioes are more like dog's than what I would have imagined for a cat.
If you believe big government is the solution then you are a liberal. If you believe big government is the problem then you are a conservative.

quiller

Quote from: Dan on October 25, 2010, 09:44:35 AM
Actually I have 2 cats too. A boy and a girl that I got for my ex-wife about 2 months before we got the dog. When we split, I inherited the cats too. I never was a cat person before I got these two guys, but I love them dearly too and would never part with them. They were very good friends with the dog. And a couple of days before she passed I had a very cute photo of the girl cat sleeping next to the head of my Great Dane and barely touching her head to the dog's head. Very cute.

Neither of my cats fits the aloof stereotype. Both meet me at the door, talk to me, follow me around the house and absolutely love to cuddle. In short, their personalitioes are more like dog's than what I would have imagined for a cat.

My 17-year winner came when I whistled and refused to budge from beside me on any couch or chair I sat. The other (a female) was elegance personified, compared to him. He's been gone nearly a decade and I still miss him dearly.

We've got one beastie who's now about 7 years old and does the same won't-leave-my-side thing, and both she and the "Official Cat in Training" (formerly a male) share turns sleeping on either my shoes or slippers, nose-deep in places where NOBODY oughtta go.....

Pet owners either get it or they just happen to have pets. When one dies, it's OK to express sympathy to the owner. A part of the family is a part of the family. It's OK to grieve your loss.

naleta

quiller pointed your post out to me, Dan. Reading about your dog brought tears to my eyes. There will always be a hole in your heart shaped like her, but you were blessed with her in your life. Everyone who has loved and lost a pet knows how you are feeling, both the loss and the blessing.


naleta - Mrs q

Dan

Quote from: quiller on October 25, 2010, 10:06:57 AMPet owners either get it or they just happen to have pets. When one dies, it's OK to express sympathy to the owner. A part of the family is a part of the family. It's OK to grieve your loss.

I agree completely. That dog was part of my family and one I liked a great deal more than some of the human members of my family for that matter.  :D
If you believe big government is the solution then you are a liberal. If you believe big government is the problem then you are a conservative.

Dan

Quote from: naleta on October 25, 2010, 10:47:18 AM
quiller pointed your post out to me, Dan. Reading about your dog brought tears to my eyes. There will always be a hole in your heart shaped like her, but you were blessed with her in your life. Everyone who has loved and lost a pet knows how you are feeling, both the loss and the blessing.


naleta - Mrs q

Thanks Naleta. She was very much a blessing in my life. I don't want to imagine the past 7.5 years of my life without her. She gave me strength and comfort and companionship. I couldn't have asked for a better dog.
If you believe big government is the solution then you are a liberal. If you believe big government is the problem then you are a conservative.

Solars Toy

Dan - Solar called me and told me about your post.  I immediately got on an read your beautiful and touching story of your best friend.   I am so sorry for the loss you have experienced but as you say you had a good 7.5 years with your "puppy".   You will remain in my thoughts.

I pray, not wish because I have a God not a Genie.

Elfie

I am so sorry for your loss.  I am looking at your day soon....But this has always been of some help to me when I think of whats to come... I hope it helps you to...
The rainbow bridge...... it's really a pretty wonderful thing.
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

Elfie
Nature is an infinite sphere of which the center is everywhere and the circumference nowhere.
Blaise Pascal

Solar

Quote from: Dan on October 25, 2010, 08:24:59 AM
Thanks chief. She was a great dog and a great friend and I miss her a lot. Luckily I have a lot of friends and family to help me through it. I guess I have been preparing for this day mentally for about a year since her first heart attack, but you never really prepare for a loss. The most disorienting part of it is that I still keep expecting her to be there and it's like the realization hits me all over again several times per day.

This isn't the same thing as losing my Dad 3 months ago. Nothing can compare to losing a parent except maybe losing a child or a spouse (don't know about either of those). But this is really hard since she has been such a big part of my life.

But I know she isn't in pain or suffering or limited in any way anymore. And I like to imagine her running and playing in heaven with my Dad looking out for her till I get there.
I lost my brother first, then my dad at 93, but I never shed a tear for either, not because I didn't love them, but because they lived the life they wanted to.
My brother died at 60 from complications of being shot in Nam and poor lifestyle.
My dad, he lived a long good life and was able to spend his last days at home, he was a good man and left behind a loving family.

Now with that said, I have had dogs in my life ever since I was born, and can name everyone of them after 57 years.
But a dogs life is so short, yet they not learn the one lesson that is important in life, but teach us as well, and that is unconditional love.
I think that is why I fall to pieces when ever I lose one of these special friends, they teach us what it means to love unconditionally, they teach us patience, and humility, because they sometimes can't hold it, and we are forced to clean up after them, generally with a smile.

If those aren't reasons to celebrate the life they shared with us, I don't know what is.

Hang in there, she knows you appreciated her time with you.
She definitely appreciated the time you two had together.
Official Trump Cult Member

#WWG1WGA

Q PATRIOT!!!

Dan

Quote from: Solars Toy on October 25, 2010, 12:20:29 PM
Dan - Solar called me and told me about your post.  I immediately got on an read your beautiful and touching story of your best friend.   I am so sorry for the loss you have experienced but as you say you had a good 7.5 years with your "puppy".   You will remain in my thoughts.

Thanks ST. Death is something we all have to face. I'm just grateful that she was able to face it so peacefully. It would have been much harder if she had suffered.
If you believe big government is the solution then you are a liberal. If you believe big government is the problem then you are a conservative.