We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the Rules from the male side. These are our rules:-

Please note.... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If its up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Saturday = Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work! strong hints do not work! obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. if something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. you can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. if we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing', we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics and Sex, Sport, or Cars.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Football is a religion and should not be interrupted or trivialized.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, its like camping.

One word. YES!

Quote from: Solars Toy on January 01, 2020, 04:24:32 PM
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the Rules from the male side. These are our rules:-

Please note.... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If its up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Saturday = Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work! strong hints do not work! obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. if something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. you can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. if we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing', we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics and Sex, Sport, or Cars. or politics 

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Football is a religion and should not be interrupted or trivialized.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, its like camping.

I highlighted the ones I can relate to.  The toilet seat is one I had never thought about...  Toy

 

Perfect!!

So the "rule" about the toilet seat really hit home with me.  Solar and I are both retired and it is just the two of us here.  So why should I expect him to always put the seat down?  Why am I not putting the seat up for him, as a courtesy, when I am done...

As of yesterday I am trying to put it up when I am done!  Toy  or 

Quote from: Solars Toy on January 02, 2020, 08:11:08 AM
So the "rule" about the toilet seat really hit home with me.  Solar and I are both retired and it is just the two of us here.  So why should I expect him to always put the seat down?  Why am I not putting the seat up for him, as a courtesy, when I am done...

As of yesterday I am trying to put it up when I am done!  Toy  or 

Honey, you don't have to do that, it has hinges for a reason. But you're sweet.

Quote from: Solars Toy on January 02, 2020, 08:11:08 AM
So the "rule" about the toilet seat really hit home with me.  Solar and I are both retired and it is just the two of us here.  So why should I expect him to always put the seat down?  Why am I not putting the seat up for him, as a courtesy, when I am done...

As of yesterday I am trying to put it up when I am done!  Toy  or 

It's why I generally just go outside.

Quote from: s3779m on January 02, 2020, 08:52:41 AM
It's why I generally just go outside.

Same here. The outside is closer than the bathroom, soooo, what the hell, the bears don't care...

Quote from: Solars Toy on January 02, 2020, 08:11:08 AM
So the "rule" about the toilet seat really hit home with me.  Solar and I are both retired and it is just the two of us here.  So why should I expect him to always put the seat down?  Why am I not putting the seat up for him, as a courtesy, when I am done...

As of yesterday I am trying to put it up when I am done!  Toy  or 

LOL with all the woman in my life.  My mother would be the first one to come back and bitch slap me, for not putting the two down.   My two daughters would be right their helping her.   

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SuffBpYmuM

Quote from: Solars Toy on January 01, 2020, 04:24:32 PM
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the Rules from the male side. These are our rules:-

Please note.... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If its up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Saturday = Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work! strong hints do not work! obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. if something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. you can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. if we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing', we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics and Sex, Sport, or Cars.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Football is a religion and should not be interrupted or trivialized.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, its like camping.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ns3fNEZCdqY

Quote from: Sick Of Silence on January 03, 2020, 12:03:03 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SuffBpYmuM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMNatfbxry8

Quote from: Solars Toy on January 02, 2020, 08:11:08 AM
So the "rule" about the toilet seat really hit home with me.  Solar and I are both retired and it is just the two of us here.  So why should I expect him to always put the seat down?  Why am I not putting the seat up for him, as a courtesy, when I am done...

As of yesterday I am trying to put it up when I am done!  Toy  or 

Such amateurs.  My Goodness.
Mrs. Tiny, unlike me, is truly tiny.  5 ft tall and under 100 lbs.  If I don't put the seat down, and she doesn't see that, she falls through, and man, the profanity.
So, being well experienced in items of marital importance, I did the only logical thing.  I bought a seat that slowly lowers into position.  You just barely move it, and it comes down real slow.  Six years and I've not been blessed out. 
You see, Mrs. Tiny  has a unique perspective.
They ALWAYS need the seat down, and we only OCCASIONALLY need it down.  If not for me, she'd not ever have to lift it, except to clean.  SO to her, I am responsible for the seat.  With the seat I have, it's as easy as sitting down.

Quote from: tiny1 on January 03, 2020, 07:20:45 AM
Such amateurs.  My Goodness.
Mrs. Tiny, unlike me, is truly tiny.  5 ft tall and under 100 lbs.  If I don't put the seat down, and she doesn't see that, she falls through, and man, the profanity.
So, being well experienced in items of marital importance, I did the only logical thing.  I bought a seat that slowly lowers into position.  You just barely move it, and it comes down real slow.  Six years and I've not been blessed out. 
You see, Mrs. Tiny  has a unique perspective.
They ALWAYS need the seat down, and we only OCCASIONALLY need it down.  If not for me, she'd not ever have to lift it, except to clean.  SO to her, I am responsible for the seat.  With the seat I have, it's as easy as sitting down.

Since when is it anyone's fault when someone else sits in water?