Quote from: kroz on August 08, 2015, 02:39:31 PM
Women are definitely a lot more verbal than men.

.....  and it can get us into problems sometimes.....   

...starting with the words, "What's an apple?"

Quote from: quiller on August 09, 2015, 01:47:18 AM
...starting with the words, "What's an apple?"

Nope, she never asked that question.   

A lie told a thousand times becomes truth.  There were no apples!!   

Quote from: kroz on August 09, 2015, 04:11:44 AM
Nope, she never asked that question.   

A lie told a thousand times becomes truth.  There were no apples!!   

"Wanna touch my belly button"? Yeah, us guys have all fell for that one.

Quote from: kroz on August 08, 2015, 02:39:31 PM
Women are definitely a lot more verbal than men.

.....  and it can get us into problems sometimes.....   

Yep, they talk about twice as much as men.  I noticed this with my kids too.

Of course not everyone is the same, it's a general observation.

Men unfortunately look at women's need to vent about stuff, as being asked to fix a problem.   What women say and what men hear are two different things.

Quote from: Dori on August 09, 2015, 08:39:30 AM
Yep, they talk about twice as much as men.  I noticed this with my kids too.

It's more like 10 times as much.   

QuoteOf course not everyone is the same, it's a general observation.

Thank you God. 

QuoteMen unfortunately look at women's need to vent about stuff, as being asked to fix a problem.   What women say and what men hear are two different things.

It only took me 5 years to figure that out.   Now if the good wife needs something fixed she start out with I need you to fix this.  Otherwise I know she needs to just vent sometimes. 

I think with men if you ask what time it is.  You do not have to tell them how to build a clock and how it works before you tell them what time it is.

Quote from: Dori on August 09, 2015, 08:39:30 AM
Yep, they talk about twice as much as men.  I noticed this with my kids too.

Of course not everyone is the same, it's a general observation.

Men unfortunately look at women's need to vent about stuff, as being asked to fix a problem.   What women say and what men hear are two different things.

Which is a reflection of how men view life. When a man approaches another man with perplexities, be it venting or perceived problems, it's a signal to other men that he is seeking help.
I'd say it's incumbent upon women to understand man, and not get angry when he offers help, it's never meant to be an insult, or appear Neanderthal in nature, he's just trying to help.

Quote from: Solar on August 09, 2015, 09:30:54 AM
Which is a reflection of how men view life. When a man approaches another man with perplexities, be it venting or perceived problems, it's a signal to other men that he is seeking help.
I'd say it's incumbent upon women to understand man, and not get angry when he offers help, it's never meant to be an insult, or appear Neanderthal in nature, he's just trying to help.

Another thing is, at least with me if I'm venting to close friends about a problem that I have it is because I want a solution. If my friends has none the answer is usually "yeah that sucks" and we change the subject. If it can't be fixed then it's better to stfu.

A thing I learned a little too late with my wife is she liked to vent about things for long times but it was not solutions she was after, it was just to vent and talk. It's hard to keep focus though when you have heard it 50 times before and she never want to try some of the solutions offered. I guess I just need to learn more patience.

Quote from: Mountainshield on August 10, 2015, 06:31:15 AM
Another thing is, at least with me if I'm venting to close friends about a problem that I have it is because I want a solution. If my friends has none the answer is usually "yeah that sucks" and we change the subject. If it can't be fixed then it's better to stfu.

Bingo!

QuoteA thing I learned a little too late with my wife is she liked to vent about things for long times but it was not solutions she was after, it was just to vent and talk. It's hard to keep focus though when you have heard it 50 times before and she never want to try some of the solutions offered. I guess I just need to learn more patience.

See, you're starting to get clarity already. It's a long process, but you'll get there very soon. I see evidence you're way ahead in the process.

Quote from: Mountainshield on August 10, 2015, 06:31:15 AM
Another thing is, at least with me if I'm venting to close friends about a problem that I have it is because I want a solution. If my friends has none the answer is usually "yeah that sucks" and we change the subject. If it can't be fixed then it's better to stfu.

A thing I learned a little too late with my wife is she liked to vent about things for long times but it was not solutions she was after, it was just to vent and talk. It's hard to keep focus though when you have heard it 50 times before and she never want to try some of the solutions offered. I guess I just need to learn more patience.

Brilliant!!   

Quote from: Solar on August 09, 2015, 09:30:54 AMI'd say it's incumbent upon women to understand man, and not get angry when he offers help, it's never meant to be an insult, or appear Neanderthal in nature, he's just trying to help.

But men are Neanderthals.   It's their basic nature and their needs are pretty basic too.  Too many women think they can change the things they don't like about men, to fit their way they thinking.

Quote from: Dori on August 10, 2015, 09:39:42 AM
But men are Neanderthals.   It's their basic nature and their needs are pretty basic too.  Too many women think they can change the things they don't like about men, to fit their way they thinking.

Yes, yes we are. We are actually quite simple creatures, some more so, than others.

Quote from: Solar on August 10, 2015, 09:47:52 AM

Yes, yes we are. We are actually quite simple creatures, some more so, than others.

I've noticed thru the years that men and women tend to try to consider each other's traits and ambitions, hobbies and pastimes and make them a part of their overall daily lives.  I think that men and women should have their own hobbies and pasttimes.  Women don't hesitate to spend an entire day at shopping.  Men love nothing better than to enjoy their sports and or hunting.  I think this kind of activity is important to each one and it should be their time to do what they like.  As long as there is consideration for each other.  Heck, some men love the shopping experience.  I've been on hunting trips too. 

You get to know each other thru the years and you should always respect each other.  It has to be two-sided or it simply won't work.

I'm sitting here now waiting on the "sheriff" to do his daily thing and that is something I don't interfere with.  I've got supper ready when he comes home from work everyday and he goes to his bathroom and spends approx. 1 hour to himself.  He says that he has to have time for his bath and that this is how he relaxes.  He wouldn't even care if supper was ready as long as he gets that hour in the bath.  He tells me alot of times to be ready and we'll go out if I want to.  That might not seem like a big deal to some of you but it is to me and I don't take him for granted.  I can count on one hand the times that the  first husband and I went out to eat and that was in 12 years of marriage. 

Quote from: keyboarder on August 10, 2015, 04:17:27 PM
I've noticed thru the years that men and women tend to try to consider each other's traits and ambitions, hobbies and pastimes and make them a part of their overall daily lives.  I think that men and women should have their own hobbies and pasttimes.  Women don't hesitate to spend an entire day at shopping.  Men love nothing better than to enjoy their sports and or hunting.  I think this kind of activity is important to each one and it should be their time to do what they like.  As long as there is consideration for each other.  Heck, some men love the shopping experience.  I've been on hunting trips too. 

You get to know each other thru the years and you should always respect each other.  It has to be two-sided or it simply won't work.

I'm sitting here now waiting on the "sheriff" to do his daily thing and that is something I don't interfere with.  I've got supper ready when he comes home from work everyday and he goes to his bathroom and spends approx. 1 hour to himself.  He says that he has to have time for his bath and that this is how he relaxes.  He wouldn't even care if supper was ready as long as he gets that hour in the bath.  He tells me alot of times to be ready and we'll go out if I want to.  That might not seem like a big deal to some of you but it is to me and I don't take him for granted.  I can count on one hand the times that the  first husband and I went out to eat and that was in 12 years of marriage.

Sounds like you are a sensitive and caring lady that appreciates the little things in life.  You are right that mutual respect is key to making any marriage work.  It is wonderful that you have a great marriage now.  All of us who do have great mates should remember to thank God every day for them.  They are a blessing beyond all other blessings.  A good spouse is hard to find...... and getting harder every day.

Quote from: keyboarder on August 10, 2015, 04:17:27 PM
I've noticed thru the years that men and women tend to try to consider each other's traits and ambitions, hobbies and pastimes and make them a part of their overall daily lives.  I think that men and women should have their own hobbies and pasttimes.  Women don't hesitate to spend an entire day at shopping.  Men love nothing better than to enjoy their sports and or hunting.  I think this kind of activity is important to each one and it should be their time to do what they like.  As long as there is consideration for each other.  Heck, some men love the shopping experience.  I've been on hunting trips too. 

You get to know each other thru the years and you should always respect each other.  It has to be two-sided or it simply won't work.

I'm sitting here now waiting on the "sheriff" to do his daily thing and that is something I don't interfere with.  I've got supper ready when he comes home from work everyday and he goes to his bathroom and spends approx. 1 hour to himself.  He says that he has to have time for his bath and that this is how he relaxes.  He wouldn't even care if supper was ready as long as he gets that hour in the bath.  He tells me alot of times to be ready and we'll go out if I want to.  That might not seem like a big deal to some of you but it is to me and I don't take him for granted.  I can count on one hand the times that the  first husband and I went out to eat and that was in 12 years of marriage.

I agree with you. My wife and I have a wonderful relationship. However, we do little together outside the house. She plays tennis and bowls. I play golf. I don't go shopping and she doesn't want me to go as I make her nervous. When I need something I go "buying" - in and out. She loves movies and I do not. No problem as she has her daughter and a good friend to go to movies. OTOH, at home we are on the same page. We share chores and care for our dogs. I do the cooking and she does the eating. It is a wonderful life for both of us.

Quote from: supsalemgr on August 11, 2015, 05:09:22 AM
I agree with you. My wife and I have a wonderful relationship. However, we do little together outside the house. She plays tennis and bowls. I play golf. I don't go shopping and she doesn't want me to go as I make her nervous. When I need something I go "buying" - in and out. She loves movies and I do not. No problem as she has her daughter and a good friend to go to movies. OTOH, at home we are on the same page. We share chores and care for our dogs. I do the cooking and she does the eating. It is a wonderful life for both of us.

Actually, my husband and I do almost everything together since he retired.  Before that, I had a different schedule but our friends have always been mutual friends.... mostly from the church.

When we spent nine years in a motorhome on the road, we were almost never apart.  Best buddies!

Now, we are both rather homebodies but I do get out occasionally by myself.  The only place my husband goes without me is when he gets a hair cut!  ..... and when he does his exercise routine... walking and cycling.  I go to the gym more than he does now.

We only own one car!  No need for another one because we are always together!