Okay guys, I know from the offset you will laugh at me, so leave your Biden personae at the door. Plus I think I should ask my fellow Cons about this, since hey, who do I ask? Liberals? Haha.

So I've met this Israeli girl online 10 months ago and we've been chatting back to back almost every day, and yes, we fell in love w/ each other. She's opened up a lot (metaphorically speaking) about her past and her problems. Well, I wholeheartedly accepted it and I said I understood.

Weird things go by, and suddenly she was talking about our future together...

So is it worth it? I mean she's a non-practicing Jew and I'm a practicing Christian, and I'm worried if we ever hit it off we might encounter problems along the way. Is it worth the cost? I'm on the fence, I mean, I can't know if she cheats on me or not, but she's already opened her personal life to me so I guess it's a green light for me...I think.

But I'm serious for her, and that's what counts most for me.

I'm in Kangarooland & she's in the Holy Land...
...Oy vey.

I'm no Dear Abby, but I'd be careful.

First of all, a girl that gets into telling you about her problems, might just be a problem herself. People are willing to share things through the keyboard, that they might otherwise not.

What future together? This is a giant red flag. You two have not fallen in love. You have fallen in love with the perception that you have of each other, through your online exchanges. I have people that I've met online that I consider friends, but wouldn't recognize them if we passed in the street.

I'm not saying that the two of you won't hit it off in person, but planning a future together without ever meeting, is pure crazy. If you want to pursue this relationship, go for it. But go slow. Are you willing to relocate to Israel? Is she willing to move here? You guys need to get to know each other in person before you get into any talk of a future together. The online persona doesn't always match up with the in-person persona.

My 2 cents.

Its nice you have found someone to chat with.   You might even be skype talkin to.  But at the end of the day its still words on a screen. A small percentage of a face on skype.   Its a tough call at best. But 10 months and thinkin about a full blown relationship.....that may or may not pan out...  make sure she has money to get home or you have money to run home.
Sometimes a want isnt what you need.

A google search on "online love affairs", reveals many of the problems that can be associated with this type of relationship.

Thanks, I definitely have a plan to go to Israel someday though :)

I've met her friends on Skype, her siblings, every thing, and we talk every day...not sure bout her parents though, I don't think they speak English that good.

Excellent advice from all.
My two cents based on experience three different times, all more than a 1000 miles away failed.
The main reason was chemistry, it just wasn't there.

My Grand mother once told me, look at a persons most irritating habit, and decide if you can live with that the rest of your life.
You may think it's cute how she answers every question with a question now, but wnat about thirty years down the road, and she's still questioning your every statement?

Point is, you will never really know till you meet in person. The image of what you want her to be as opposed to the person she really is, has clouded your mind, you haven't even seen her walk, socialize with people in public, her interaction with animals and children.

You have to spend a minimum of two days with them to get a feel of what the future holds.

My suggestion would be to slow way, way down and start looking in your own neighborhood.
I found the love of my life(ST) on Singlesnet.com, only 60 miles away.

Good luck, but you don't really have to scour the world looking for love, there is someone perfect for you right in your own town.

One other point, you have shown that you are willing to put aside obvious differences like Religion, as yourself, just how many other things have you excused in need of making this work?

Just a couple of examples:

My youngest recently met someone online.  They chatted back and forth and talked on the phone every night for over 2 months.  He finally flys out so they can meet face to face (he has already fallen head over heels for her and she thinks maybe this is the one).  They meet and there is no chemistry...  She told him and he got nasty. 

Second example is a couple of my friends who went looking for love on line and ended up getting scammed.  Both were chatting to men in another Country.  Both went on for months....the men claiming they were dying to meet and spend time with them.  One even wanting to go so far as marry them.  But alas their money was tied up and if only they could loan them the money for an airline ticket they would come and see them.   Although one of my friends will never admit it I believe she did send money.  The other started questioning it and out of the blue was contacted by the Feds that this was a scam.

But I don't want you to think all is hopeless.  As Solar said we did meet online.  But after 3 days of chatting and talking we agreed to meet.  It was love at first sight.  My oldest daughter also met her future husband online.  They too after a few days chatting met and after dating a few times realized this was a perfect match.

Someone said "The best love is the one that makes you a better person, without changing you into someone other than yourself."

One last thought.  Although she is a "non-practicing Jew"  That does not mean her beliefs and values are not ingrained in her personality.  This could eventually be a problem especially if you were to move forward marry and have children..

Good luck!  Toy

I will give you my .02$ with one preemptive comment.  Pray.  If you are a practicing Christian, then use His guidance.

My husband and I got to know each other over the internet, we had met in person through a friend briefly, exchanged phone numbers and emails, and just over a year later, we were married.  We celebrated our 15 year anniversary last August.  It can work.  As far as her being Israeli, I think that only matters, if it matters to the two of you.  I think it might be more difficult if she were a practicing Jew, but understand that she may not be willing to join you in your faith either, which could become a stumbling block in your faith.  It all depends on you, what God has planned for you, and what you want or are willing to do.

Love is not mushy, love, in its truest form, is putting another persons needs above your own.  When it is returned, both have your needs met and are shown care and understanding in the process because you have to be willing to listen and understand to know what that persons needs are.

Good luck and welcome to the forum.

Quote from: JustKari on October 13, 2012, 09:22:02 AM
I will give you my .02$ with one preemptive comment.  Pray.  If you are a practicing Christian, then use His guidance.

My husband and I got to know each other over the internet, we had met in person through a friend briefly, exchanged phone numbers and emails, and just over a year later, we were married.  We celebrated our 15 year anniversary last August.  It can work.  As far as her being Israeli, I think that only matters, if it matters to the two of you.  I think it might be more difficult if she were a practicing Jew, but understand that she may not be willing to join you in your faith either, which could become a stumbling block in your faith.  It all depends on you, what God has planned for you, and what you want or are willing to do.

Love is not mushy, love, in its truest form, is putting another persons needs above your own.  When it is returned, both have your needs met and are shown care and understanding in the process because you have to be willing to listen and understand to know what that persons needs are.

Good luck and welcome to the forum.

Well said Kari, if it's a one way street and one person is always giving in, the relationship is doomed.
I've been in these types of relationships, it eventually leads to abuse, and before you know it, you are always walking on egg shells trying to avoid setting the other person off.
It's a slow translational process, but if a person finds themselves always having to compromise, they are headed towards being abused.

Quote from: Solar on October 13, 2012, 09:40:28 AM
Well said Kari, if it's a one way street and one person is always giving in, the relationship is doomed.
I've been in these types of relationships, it eventually leads to abuse, and before you know it, you are always walking on egg shells trying to avoid setting the other person off.
It's a slow translational process, but if a person finds themselves always having to compromise, they are headed towards being abused.

Been there, done that.

Quote from: kramarat on October 13, 2012, 10:04:40 AM
Been there, done that.

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me, fool me a third time?
I rented a U-haul and packed everything she owned, had her out in a day.

I quit dating for several years after that and did some serious soul searching, which paid off.

Quote from: Solar on October 13, 2012, 10:13:18 AM
Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me, fool me a third time?
I rented a U-haul and packed everything she owned, had her out in a day.

I quit dating for several years after that and did some serious soul searching, which paid off.

My first nightmare lasted for years. Not much explanation is needed. I was 20, in the military, found true love. Man I was stupid!!!

Been married now for 14 years to my "real" true love and best friend.

Quote from: kramarat on October 13, 2012, 10:25:14 AM
My first nightmare lasted for years. Not much explanation is needed. I was 20, in the military, found true love. Man I was stupid!!!

Been married now for 14 years to my "real" true love and best friend.

Okay, I know this story sounds a little like a movie, but I swear this is true:

So yes, while I'm keeping in touch w/ her, this girl from my school invited me out to a date. I was on the fence...but before I went there I asked God to give me a sign if this Israeli girl is right for me, so I prayed deeply...

...three hours later, the girl didn't turn up. Turns out she had a doctor's appointment. I couldn't believe it, God actually answered my prayers!

As for raising kids, I can let her raise them Jewish (as long as she raises them Conservative Jews), but of course, when they grow up, I'd like them to convert to Christianity out of their own accord.

Yes, I've given out a lot of concessions (sorry guys, most of it is private), but I don't count them, I've gotta put her needs first above me 

And you know, since 95% of the people here are way older than me, I know you might call it puppy love, but oh well 

Politics wise, we're compatible as well, she's centre-right.