Advice from Larry The CableGuy

Started by zip, November 14, 2010, 11:26:37 AM

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zip

Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in Our Country lately:
Illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida ...

Not me -- I concentrate on solutions for the problems -- it's a win-win situation.

* Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.
* Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levees.
* Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.


Any other problems you would like for me to solve today?

Think about this:
1.  Cows
2.  The Constitution
3.  The Ten Commandments

COWS:
is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington?  And, they tracked her calves to their stalls.  But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country.  Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
THE CONSTITUTION:
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq ...why don't we just give them ours?  It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.
THE 10 COMMANDMENTS:
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this -- you cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians, it creates a hostile work environment.


quiller

Dig that moat the LENGTH of California, and keep them from inland, and it's a deal.

AmericanFlyer

Larry The Cable Guy is not only a damn funny guy, but he is also a very intelligent guy.

BILLY Defiant

There is no wisdom like country wisdom.... ;D


Billy
Evil operates best when it is disguised for what it truly is.

AmericanFlyer

Quote from: BILLY-bONNEY on November 14, 2010, 05:03:42 PM
There is no wisdom like country wisdom.... ;D
Billy

My definition of REAL standup comedy is when Foxworthy and Larry and Engvall and White were doing the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.  Now THAT was some FUNNY STUFF!

REDWHITEBLUE2

Quote from: AmericanFlyer on November 14, 2010, 01:39:50 PM
Larry The Cable Guy is not only a damn funny guy, but he is also a very intelligent guy.
He is also very Conservative

Solars Toy

Quote from: AmericanFlyer on November 14, 2010, 06:05:34 PM
My definition of REAL standup comedy is when Foxworthy and Larry and Engvall and White were doing the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.  Now THAT was some FUNNY STUFF!

I have both Blue Collar tours and 2 Ron White on DVD.   When I need a good laugh I will put them in...

Smoke alarm kitchen timer..... :)) :)) :)) :))
I pray, not wish because I have a God not a Genie.

AmericanFlyer

Quote from: Solars Toy on November 14, 2010, 06:31:25 PM
I have both Blue Collar tours and 2 Ron White on DVD.   When I need a good laugh I will put them in...
Smoke alarm kitchen timer..... :)) :)) :)) :))

The thing about these guys is that they don't have to drop F-bombs, they don't have to get sexually graphic, and they don't have to use partisan political humor, to try to be funny.  They are all great comedians.

Probably the FUNNIEST thing I heard out of these guys was from Larry The Cable Guy, and it is a simple joke, but I laugh my ass off every time I watch the DVD or see it on Comedy Central.

"My wife, she's a really bad cook.  They used her meatloaf on Fear Factor."

They're all funny as hell.  "They call me tater salad."  "You may be a redneck if.........".  Larry and his fat sister who is covered with moles.  Etc., etc., etc. 



REDWHITEBLUE2

Quote from: AmericanFlyer on November 15, 2010, 09:44:45 AM
The thing about these guys is that they don't have to drop F-bombs, they don't have to get sexually graphic, and they don't have to use partisan political humor, to try to be funny.  They are all great comedians.

Probably the FUNNIEST thing I heard out of these guys was from Larry The Cable Guy, and it is a simple joke, but I laugh my ass off every time I watch the DVD or see it on Comedy Central.

"My wife, she's a really bad cook.  They used her meatloaf on Fear Factor."

They're all funny as hell.  "They call me tater salad."  "You may be a redneck if.........".  Larry and his fat sister who is covered with moles.  Etc., etc., etc.
HERES YOUR SIGN  ;D

zip

Quote from: zip on November 15, 2010, 01:23:00 PM



  Lol my wife and I  laughed like hell when we  heard the, they use my wifes meatloaf on fear factor...larry is hilarious...my wife loves fear factor she watchs the reruns everyday now that she had the surgery

BILLY Defiant

Quote from: AmericanFlyer on November 14, 2010, 06:05:34 PM
My definition of REAL standup comedy is when Foxworthy and Larry and Engvall and White were doing the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.  Now THAT was some FUNNY STUFF!



JEff "you might be a redneck if..".Foxworthy is one of my favorites!!!!! :)) :))

Thank you and Here's your sign.... ;D

Billy
Evil operates best when it is disguised for what it truly is.

Solars Toy

Quote from: zip on November 15, 2010, 01:23:48 PM

  Lol my wife and I  laughed like hell when we  heard the, they use my wifes meatloaf on fear factor...larry is hilarious...my wife loves fear factor she watchs the reruns everyday now that she had the surgery

Hope she's ok. :) :)
I pray, not wish because I have a God not a Genie.

AmericanFlyer

Geez, I forgot about Bill Engvall and his "here's your sign" thing!

Hey, did you kill that deer hanging on your wall?
No, he tried to run through the wall and got stuck.  Here's your sign.

How about Ron White..........."I had the right to remain silent.  I just didn't have the ability."

I don't care who ya are.........that's funny right there.   :)) :)) :))




REDWHITEBLUE2

Quote from: AmericanFlyer on November 15, 2010, 06:57:47 PM
Geez, I forgot about Bill Engvall and his "here's your sign" thing!

Hey, did you kill that deer hanging on your wall?
No, he tried to run through the wall and got stuck.  Here's your sign.

How about Ron White..........."I had the right to remain silent.  I just didn't have the ability."

I don't care who ya are.........that's funny right there.   :)) :)) :))
being a truck driver my favorate was
ARE you stuck
NOPE I was just moving the bridge and ran out of fuel -HERES YOUR SIGN

Solars Toy

Quote from: REDWHITEBLUE2 on November 15, 2010, 07:05:03 PM
being a truck driver my favorate was
ARE you stuck
NOPE I was just moving the bridge and ran out of fuel -HERES YOUR SIGN

Ron White...Hustler magazine "Beaver Hunt"  need I say more.. :)) :)) :))
I pray, not wish because I have a God not a Genie.