MSNBC Wins 4 Academy Award Oscars (Parody)

Started by actionblock, February 06, 2014, 03:19:16 AM

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MSNBC Wins 4 Academy Award Oscars

The Academy Awards, commonly known as The Oscars, is an
annual American awards ceremony honoring achievements in
the film industry. This year, the Academy is breaking with tradition
by also honoring a Cable network with TV Oscars.

While the film awards will be made on March 2, 2014, the
Academy has elected to announce the TV Oscar awards today
as the winners stood head and shoulder above the competition
and there was no contest. MSNBC has swept all the award categories
and the winners are:

TV Oscar - Best Female Comedian
Winner is MSNBC's Rachel Maddow. Rachel's role on the
"Rachel Maddow Show" is to play an annoying, bitchy, shrewish and
butchy lesbian cheerleader for Obama and the far-left while attacking
conservatives as evil. A master of the raised eyebrow method acting
technique, Rachel's funniest quote of the year was when asked by a
tweeter why she wasn't a responsible TV journalist, Maddow tweeted
back "If people wanted responsible TV journalism they wouldn't be
watching me."

TV Oscar - Best Male Comedian
Winner is MSNBC's Chris Matthews. Chris delights viewers with
his "Hardball with Chris Matthews" hour long variety show. Chris's
I'm smarter than you, bi-polar slapstick routine of interrupting guests,
speed talking and spittle spraying, coupled with his act of being an
over the top shill for President Obama and the Democratic party has
endeared Chris to fans of high comedy. One of Chris's most memorable
lines was "Whenever I hear President Obama speak, I get a big woodie
with a tingle up and down my leg." You can't get much funnier than that.

TV Oscar - Lifetime Achievement Award
Winner is MSNBC's Al Sharpton. Al made the transition from drama to
MSNBC comedy with ease. Early in his acting career, Al was involved
in numerous fictional reality show productions including the
"Bernhard Goetz 2 Train," "The Tawana Brawley Show,"
"The Crown Heights Riot," "Fire at Freddie's," " Puerto Rico Lockup"
and "Duke Fast Break." On his MSNBC "PoliticsNation" comedy hour,
Al makes the audience believe he's an embarrassing inarticulate slow
thinking dim witted bungling fool and a caricature of himself, which is
true testimony to his comedic ability. Such a talent only comes along
once in every generation.

TV Oscar - Best Comedy Network
Winner is MSNBC. During a telephone interview, MSNBC President
Phil Griffin thanked the Academy, congratulated the other TV Oscar
winners and also offered compliments to his entire lineup of star
comedians. Griffin said he has been surprised by people thinking
MSNBC was a news organization. We do our comedy so convincingly
that people think we're serious, Griffin said. This is truly a complement
to our ensemble of comedians. He went on to say that he was
surprised at the criticism his network receives as nobody ever
complained about the Monty Python's Flying Circus show.

Following the TV Oscar announcement the winners tweeted:
Maddow: "Twinkle! Twinkle!"

Matthews: "Theoscarthrillisrunningdownmyleg."

Sharpton: "Is there a cash award with the doll? How much?"
"Everything must have a purpose?" asked God. "Certainly," said man. "Then I leave it to you to think of one for all this," said God. And He went away.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle --