My response to Walkstall's comment

[kroz]

Here are other things I see. The presentation of America is that all one has to do is to work hard.  It is made to seem like this is the only prerequisite requirement for one to get and keep a job when it most certainly is not.  One has to have a certain personality and one has to have the correct social skills. 

Again, I just see a whole bunch of mixed signals and double think.   

And one must have a clear and fully capable brain!

My Dad had an 11th grade education but studied at our kitchen table and started his own business from scratch with virtually no money.  His business grew and expanded to two cities and he was very successful.

That is really only possible in America.  Yes there were far less regulations back then, but he worked his tail off for many years.  He retired at age 55 and spent the rest of his life traveling and fishing.

When I said earlier that you should be "sensitive to people's spirit" I meant that you should read their mood and respond accordingly.

A successful life is not a straight path.  It is full of crooks and turns that must be negotiated by a diplomatic understanding of and response to people.  We are not robots.  We have good days and bad days.  Learn to discern people's moods and respond appropriately to them.

[Solar]

Here are other things I see. The presentation of America is that all one has to do is to work hard.  It is made to seem like this is the only prerequisite requirement for one to get and keep a job when it most certainly is not.  One has to have a certain personality and one has to have the correct social skills. 

Again, I just see a whole bunch of mixed signals and double think.   

There is a job for everyone, regardless. The problem I see is you have your sights set way, wayyyy to high!
Why not start with the lowliest of employment, get a feel for actual work and drop the idea of full lifetime employment from day one. Its not going to happen!
No one starts at the top, ever, that's not how life works, everyone takes entry level positions, and you can do the same.
Landscaping may just be a perfect fit for you, seriously.
It's active, fulfilling good old fashioned work and when you learn every aspect of the job, you can venture out on your own, or even start your own company and hire people to do the work for you.

But forget the BS about gainful employment in the field of "your choosing" and face reality.
Take what you can get!

[cubedemon]

cubedemon, some of the things that perplex you are merely social norms..... or etiquette.

You mention not looking someone in the eye will likely lead to not getting hired.  That is absolutely true.  Employers want to be able to see into your eyes when you speak because your eyes are a window on your soul.  Many people feel that they can gage the character of an individual just by gazing into his/her eyes when they speak.  Your eyes can betray you when you are less than truthful about something.

Also, failure to make direct eye contact with someone implies a lack of confidence and strength.  Employers want to hire go-getters.... not wimps.  The eyes are extremely important in judging someone's strengths.

I taught my children at a very young age that when they meet someone they should make direct eye contact, smile and offer a firm handshake.  That is just cultural norms.  It is good etiquette.

If eye contact is so natural, is an accurate indicator of whether someone is truthful or not than why do we have to be taught to make eye contact?   Is it something that is innate to humans as a species by genetics or is it just a social convention?   

Do we not have the idea in our society of "innocent until proven guilty?"   

Here is my issue with the idea of confidence.   

In essence, there are only a few things I can know with absolute certainty and one of them is death.  I am confident in my knowledge that I will die sometime in the future.   Other things I can be reasonably certain of.   This means more than likely the plausibility is high I can do x and/or know x.   To claim that I absolutely know it or can do it which means I know or can do it 100% absolutely and can't be wrong would make me into a liar.   Confidence demands absoluteness.  Obama, Reagan, and other presidents and politicians deal in absoluteness therefore they make promises that has the possibility of not being able to be kept.  Obama promised he would bring hope and change.   How can he keep such a promise?   People in government have different beliefs and ideas of how America should go.  He is but one man and another thing all he is authorized to do in the constitution is to execute the laws congress passes.   He doesn't make laws and neither does Reagan.  They can make suggestions to congress but otherwise how can a president truthfully keep their promise?

[cubedemon]

And one must have a clear and fully capable brain!

1.  By who's definition?   

2.   What if one does not have a clear and fully capable brain?   

My Dad had an 11th grade education but studied at our kitchen table and started his own business from scratch with virtually no money.  His business grew and expanded to two cities and he was very successful.

What did he study?

That is really only possible in America.  Yes there were far less regulations back then, but he worked his tail off for many years.  He retired at age 55 and spent the rest of his life traveling and fishing.

How do you know this?   Why isn't it possible in Great Britain, Canada, and other places as well? 

When I said earlier that you should be "sensitive to people's spirit" I meant that you should read their mood and respond accordingly.

How do you do this?

A successful life is not a straight path.  It is full of crooks and turns that must be negotiated by a diplomatic understanding of and response to people.  We are not robots.  We have good days and bad days.  Learn to discern people's moods and respond appropriately to them.

How do I go about doing these things?   

[cubedemon]

There is a job for everyone, regardless. The problem I see is you have your sights set way, wayyyy to high!

How do you figure this?   If I lack confidence, faith in myself, and I am negative logically why would I have my sights set high?    I don't have the "can do" attitude per the colloquial American definition.  Without assistance and instruction by others, I don't see how I can be gainfully employed.  I'm told I lack confidence by others all of the time and I need to believe in myself more even by others on here.  It would be illogical for my sights to be set high or really anywhere.   For one to have one's sights way to high or anywhere at all their confidence would have to be high.   Which is true because both can't be true at the same time?  This is another example of what I'm talking about.  Contradictions in the over-arching American belief system.   Your conclusions about me make absolutely 100% no sense. 


Let's say what you say is true.  That doesn't mean everyone is capable of going through the whole process including the social aspect of getting it on their own without assistance.   

Why not start with the lowliest of employment, get a feel for actual work and drop the idea of full lifetime employment from day one. Its not going to happen!

Forget whether I can do a particular job or not.   Obtaining a job requires social ability and social understanding to do so.   
Let's talk about your friend John.  Let's say that was me instead of you.  For me, it would've been difficult to understand the conversation that took place.  How would you expect me who is very literal, concrete and linear in thought to be able to grasp what this man was saying?   The communication was very choppy and stuff was left.   

No one starts at the top, ever, that's not how life works, everyone takes entry level positions, and you can do the same.
Landscaping may just be a perfect fit for you, seriously.

How do you figure that I expect to start at the top?  I never expected to become a CEO anyway or any kind of political leader.  I have no expectations that I can even reach the top.   Start at the top?   Seriously?  Why would I expect to start at the top or reach the top when I have low confidence in myself and my abilities?   Do I have confidence that I should be at the top, reach the top and deserve the top or is my confidence low in which I don't believe I could ever obtain any employement whatsoever without any assistance to do so?   Which is it?   For me to believe that I have my expectations way to high implies that I am confident that I can be at the top, handle the responsibilities that come with being at the top and that I can ever reach the top.  If my confidence and my belief in myself is extremely low than how is it logically possible to have my expectations way to high?   

It's active, fulfilling good old fashioned work and when you learn every aspect of the job, you can venture out on your own, or even start your own company and hire people to do the work for you.


But forget the BS about gainful employment in the field of "your choosing" and face reality.
Take what you can get!

I have forgotten about being in the field of my choosing.   I am flexible to whatever job I am capable of obtaining, doing, keeping and maintaining for myself.   

By the way, I've done some manual labor jobs.   Here is an ancedotal example of an outcome with that.  It didn't work out for me so well.  I believe I posted it on here before.  https://whyifailedinamerica1.wordpress.com/2015/01/09/welder/

In addition, I was given efficency and productivity tests by Worktec, an organzation.   They wrote up an extensive report upon me.   This is a partial quote.

In respect to piece-rated production based jobs, Mr. cubedemon's overall production rate was 27% out of a possible 100%.  His percentage was an indicator as to how he may perform competitively during similar work in the community.  Factors that likely had a negative impact on his ability to work at a higher rate were:

* Perfectionism
* Fine finger dexterity skills
* Ability to quickly comprehend and execute job tasks
* Need to organize station before initiating work

Now, these are what they say are my reported assets and limitations.

Assets

* BS degree in Information Technology
* Reported desire to return to employment
* family support
* driver's license and reliable transportation
* dependability
* detail oriented
* works best in small environments with minimal distractions
* productive on tasks where there are clear instructions and expectations

limitations

* social and communication skills
* organizational skills
* becomes anxious, easily frustrated or obsessed on tasks that are challenging
* understanding of social cues
* concerns with interviewing skills
* fear of using the phone
* working in large environments with a lot of distraction

So, how do I overcome my limitations and low productivity?  What specific methods and techniques do I use?   Let's say I go out into the country.  They're going to speak in a different dialect than the dialect I'm used to here.  I have problems with how people speak here in understanding what they say as well.   For manual jobs like landscaping, cleaning out gutters, raking, etc, etc what do you think is going to happen based upon my assets, limitations and my productivity rating?  More than likely I will work hard but I will not be productive enough.  I will be to slow.   Because of my communication issues, my issues with body language, my issues understanding and comprehending things due to how my brain works how would I be successful with people in the country in addition to my low productivity rating? 

This isn't negativity or if it is it is negative set of conclusion(s) based upon facts about myself and how real life does work. 

I wrote this little poem a while back. 

You say "I can." I ask "how?"

You say "Be positive" I ask "how?"

You say "Get a Job." I ask "how?"

You say "Be true to oneself." I ask "how?"

You say "Fit in" I ask "how?"

You say "Start at the Bottom." I ask "how?"

You say "You have to earn every you get." I ask "how?

You say "Be more responsible." I ask "how?"

You say "Live life to the fullest." I ask "how?"

So, how do I literally do these things exactly?

Can we not focus on my emotional state but the logic of what I say please?   

[cubedemon]

A successful life is not a straight path.  It is full of crooks and turns that must be negotiated by a diplomatic understanding of and response to people.  We are not robots.  We have good days and bad days.  Learn to discern people's moods and respond appropriately to them.

More questions to this.

I buy that this is true and let's assume that it is.   What are the constraints to the choices one can make?   Does choice have limits to them?   If we really have all of these possibilities and choices than why are we limited in control when it comes to the outcome?   What is the extent of control of our fate exactly?   By this logic, our control of our lives is constrained.   

[Solar]

How do you figure this?   If I lack confidence, faith in myself, and I am negative logically why would I have my sights set high?    I don't have the "can do" attitude per the colloquial American definition.  Without assistance and instruction by others, I don't see how I can be gainfully employed.  I'm told I lack confidence by others all of the time and I need to believe in myself more even by others on here.  It would be illogical for my sights to be set high or really anywhere.   For one to have one's sights way to high or anywhere at all their confidence would have to be high.   Which is true because both can't be true at the same time?  This is another example of what I'm talking about.  Contradictions in the over-arching American belief system.   Your conclusions about me make absolutely 100% no sense. 

Then lets define "Gainful Employment". To most, it means full time work, independence and self sufficient.
Obviously this is unachievable based on your earlier posts because you are your only roadblock.
So forget it, you must start at the bottom, very bottom!

Let's say what you say is true.  That doesn't mean everyone is capable of going through the whole process including the social aspect of getting it on their own without assistance.   

Forget whether I can do a particular job or not.   Obtaining a job requires social ability and social understanding to do so.   
Let's talk about your friend John.  Let's say that was me instead of you.  For me, it would've been difficult to understand the conversation that took place.  How would you expect me who is very literal, concrete and linear in thought to be able to grasp what this man was saying?   The communication was very choppy and stuff was left.   

Pure Bull! I've worked jobs where half the crew was so drunk they literally passed out on the lawn.
Yes, these people were on govt hiring programs, and yes, the employer knew what he was getting, and still he hired them because 90% of their wage was paid by the taxpayer.

How do you figure that I expect to start at the top?  I never expected to become a CEO anyway or any kind of political leader.  I have no expectations that I can even reach the top.   Start at the top?   Seriously?  Why would I expect to start at the top or reach the top when I have low confidence in myself and my abilities?   Do I have confidence that I should be at the top, reach the top and deserve the top or is my confidence low in which I don't believe I could ever obtain any employement whatsoever without any assistance to do so?   Which is it?   For me to believe that I have my expectations way to high implies that I am confident that I can be at the top, handle the responsibilities that come with being at the top and that I can ever reach the top.  If my confidence and my belief in myself is extremely low than how is it logically possible to have my expectations way to high?

All based on previous replies where you wanted to be a programmer.
You don't jump right in that position without having proven skills, and even then, no employer is going to hire a newb straight out of school and put them in a position of complete trust, no, they will start out as a data checker.
So yeah, I gleaned from your posts that you wanted to hit full employment without passing go.

I have forgotten about being in the field of my choosing.   I am flexible to whatever job I am capable of obtaining, doing, keeping and maintaining for myself.   

By the way, I've done some manual labor jobs.   Here is an ancedotal example of an outcome with that.  It didn't work out for me so well.  I believe I posted it on here before.  https://whyifailedinamerica1.wordpress.com/2015/01/09/welder/

In addition, I was given efficency and productivity tests by Worktec, an organzation.   They wrote up an extensive report upon me.   This is a partial quote.

Now, these are what they say are my reported assets and limitations.

I still don't see an issue. If you came to my business and were able to explain your handicaps, and I had a position where I needed a helper for one of my employees, you would probably be a match for the job.
Not every employer wants an employee working alone or thinking independently, some prefer a gopher, someone that will take literal orders and do as they're told. EG.
"Hand me that rake, get me that trowel, bring me another load of bricks, mix more cement, etc.

Some professions like say a brick layer doesn't want someone interfering in their work, they just want someone keeping the materials coming.
When the bricks they're using, gets low,  you refill it, if they are running out of cement, you mix it without being told because you saw ihe was running out.
If you catch up, you look around for obstructions to his job, like boards with nails sticking out, you remove them, because your job is to make his easier to complete.

So, how do I overcome my limitations and low productivity?  What specific methods and techniques do I use?   Let's say I go out into the country.  They're going to speak in a different dialect than the dialect I'm used to here.  I have problems with how people speak here in understanding what they say as well.   For manual jobs like landscaping, cleaning out gutters, raking, etc, etc what do you think is going to happen based upon my assets, limitations and my productivity rating?  More than likely I will work hard but I will not be productive enough.  I will be to slow.   Because of my communication issues, my issues with body language, my issues understanding and comprehending things due to how my brain works how would I be successful with people in the country in addition to my low productivity rating? 

This is the written word, where you can't see their face, so we have to be exact when communicating, but in person, you would see a comment followed by a facial expression, whether it's a smile or a simple wink, you have to learn everyone communicates a little differently than the next guy, and believe me, once you do, the less they need to speak, simply point and nod their head, and you'll know what they're saying.

Stop over thinking things so much, let the natural flow kick in.

This isn't negativity or if it is it is negative set of conclusion(s) based upon facts about myself and how real life does work. 

I wrote this little poem a while back. 

So, how do I literally do these things exactly?

Can we not focus on my emotional state but the logic of what I say please?

Answer: Lose the fear of rejection and persevere.
So what if you get canned. I have been fired more than I was hired, not always my fault, sometimes I was setup, other times I didn't brown nose enough and when the season was over, I was let go.
Once I had a fellow employee steal $100.0 from my cash drawer, then claimed I didn't take the money from the customer, and since I couldn't prove it I was fired, only later to find out she was busted for embezzlement.

Shit happens,, so what, that's life and you move on, because your only option left is to give up.
Are you a quitter? Because it certainly sounds like it, you want everything to be perfect before you attempt another try, and that is not how life works.
Get a broom, and offer to sweep storefronts for cash, its a start.

[cubedemon]

Then lets define "Gainful Employment". To most, it means full time work, independence and self sufficient.
Obviously this is unachievable based on your earlier posts because you are your only roadblock.
So forget it, you must start at the bottom, very bottom!
Pure Bull! I've worked jobs where half the crew was so drunk they literally passed out on the lawn.
Yes, these people were on govt hiring programs, and yes, the employer knew what he was getting, and still he hired them because 90% of their wage was paid by the taxpayer.

That's what I'm trying to do with community support services.   Of course, I won't get drunk.  I don't drink anyway.   
 

All based on previous replies where you wanted to be a programmer.

I guess this must be a neurotypical or average person thing.   It's how walkstall reacted when I said I desired Fallout for Christmas.     

When I say I desire to do x or be x.  I mean just that nothing more and nothing less.  It doesn't mean I will get it or that  I feel that I deserve it.   Desire simply just means desire, nothing more. 

You don't jump right in that position without having proven skills, and even then, no employer is going to hire a newb straight out of school and put them in a position of complete trust, no, they will start out as a data checker.

Data Checker.   I didn't know this.

So yeah, I gleaned from your posts that you wanted to hit full employment without passing go.

Metaphorically, since we're talking about Monopoly and using it as an analogy in your expression, my response is I have no idea where Go is at. 

I still don't see an issue. If you came to my business and were able to explain your handicaps, and I had a position where I needed a helper for one of my employees, you would probably be a match for the job.

Awesome 

Not every employer wants an employee working alone or thinking independently, some prefer a gopher, someone that will take literal orders and do as they're told. EG.
"Hand me that rake, get me that trowel, bring me another load of bricks, mix more cement, etc.

Sounds Good to me.   Just tell me what you want and you got it.   As long as I know where the stuff is at and I know how to do what I'm supposed to do.  We would be good to go.      Shoot,I could gopher.  It's concrete, specific and no need to interpret what other people are saying.   Being a gopher seems like it would be easy peasy. 

At my own place of dwelling, I can think independently on my own time and write my own stuff out.   Create stories or my own games. 

Some professions like say a brick layer doesn't want someone interfering in their work, they just want someone keeping the materials coming.

When the bricks they're using, gets low,  you refill it, if they are running out of cement, you mix it without being told because you saw ihe was running out.

Yeah, I could do this.   It probably would build up my muscles too    Again, seems easy!

If you catch up, you look around for obstructions to his job, like boards with nails sticking out, you remove them, because your job is to make his easier to complete.

Cause he may need to use the boards.   Division of Labor, right?

This is the written word, where you can't see their face, so we have to be exact when communicating, but in person, you would see a comment followed by a facial expression, whether it's a smile or a simple wink, you have to learn everyone communicates a little differently than the next guy, and believe me, once you do, the less they need to speak, simply point and nod their head, and you'll know what they're saying.

I do have issues with the non-verbal language.   Once I get used to a person, I can work with them.  I do have what is called mind-blindness.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mind-blindness

Stop over thinking things so much, let the natural flow kick in.

For me, my "natural flow" is diminished.  I have missing gaps to that.   So, a lot of the stuff you're able to do unconsciously I have to do in the cerebral of my brain. 

So what if you get canned. I have been fired more than I was hired, not always my fault, sometimes I was setup, other times I didn't brown nose enough and when the season was over, I was let go.
Once I had a fellow employee steal $100.0 from my cash drawer, then claimed I didn't take the money from the customer, and since I couldn't prove it I was fired, only later to find out she was busted for embezzlement.

That is amazing.   When you went to your next job how did you handle it with your potential boss?

With regards to brown nosing, I would do it if it was required but I don't like it.