The economy is so bad that . . .
I got a Pre-declined Credit Card in the mail;
I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?";
CEO's are now playing Miniature Golf;
If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds", you call them and ask if they meant you or them;
Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM;
McDonald's is selling the "1/4 Ouncer";
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their Nannies and learned their children's names;
A truckload of Americans were caught sneaking into Mexico;
Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting;
Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore;
The Mafia is laying off Judges;
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
And, finally . . . .
I was so depressed last night thinking about the Economy, the (lack of) Health-care, too many Wars, the (Lack of) Jobs, my (depleted) Life-savings, Social Security, Retirement Funds, etc., that I called the Suicide Lifeline and got a Call Center in Pakistan.
When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck!!