#1 - Talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice.



#2 - "In Style" are the clothes that still fit.



#3 - You don't need anger management. You need people to stop pissing you off.





#4 - Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work.





#5 - The biggest lie you tell yourself is, "I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it."



#6 - "On time" is when you get there.



#7 - Even duct tape can't fix stupid, but it sure does muffle the sound..





#8 - It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes, then come out         wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!



#9 - Lately, you've noticed people your age are so much older than you.



#10 - Growing old should have taken longer.



#11 - Aging has slowed you down, but it hasn't shut you up.



#12 - You still haven't learned to act your age and hope you never will..





. . . And one more:



"One for the road" means peeing before you leave the house.