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Author Topic: Texas Declares War on the USA  (Read 2235 times)

Offline Shooterman

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Texas Declares War on the USA
« on: October 11, 2010, 11:48:05 AM »
Subject: FW: Texas Declares War on the USA (I love this!!)

Texas Declares War on the USA ONLY IN TEXAS ????

President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
"Hello, President Obama” a heavily accented southern voice said. "This
is Archie, down here at Goliad Texas , I am callin' to tell ya’ll that
we are officially declaring war on ya!"

"Well Archie," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big
is your army?"

"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself,
my cousin Harold, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole dart team
from Hooters. That makes eight!"

Barack paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my
army waiting to move on my command."

"Wow," said Archie. "I'll have at call ya back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. " Mr. Obama , the war is
still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Archie?" Barack asked.

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry’s John Deere

President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000
tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army
to one and a half million since we last spoke."

"Lord above", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."

Sure enough, Archie rang again about twenty minutes later.. " President
Obama , the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne!
We up an' modified Harolds's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in
the cockpit, and four boys from the Legion have joined us as well!"

Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you
Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military
complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Well, crap," said Archie, "l'll have at call you back."

Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. " President Obama ! I am
sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack . "Why the sudden change of heart?"

Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long
chat over a few beers, and come to realize that there's just no way we
can feed two million prisoners.."


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Yankees are like castor oil. Even a small dose is bad.

Online Solar

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Re: Texas Declares War on the USA
« Reply #1 on: October 11, 2010, 11:51:55 AM »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Offline walkstall

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Re: Texas Declares War on the USA
« Reply #2 on: October 11, 2010, 01:07:42 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D only in the South ;D   ;D   ;D
A politician thinks of the next election. A statesman, of the next generation.- James Freeman Clarke

Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession.  I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.  ~ Ronald Reagan ~

Always remember "Feelings Aren't Facts."

Offline Elfie

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Re: Texas Declares War on the USA
« Reply #3 on: October 11, 2010, 01:54:54 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D now thats funny,lmao...
Nature is an infinite sphere of which the center is everywhere and the circumference nowhere.
Blaise Pascal

Offline Solars Toy

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Re: Texas Declares War on the USA
« Reply #4 on: October 11, 2010, 02:55:50 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Love this...will have to pass it on.  Especially to my sister in Texas.
"There is no such thing as your truth.   There is the truth and your opinion."


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