Georgia     
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about
paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical
help.
He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of
Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much
would you take off?"     The secretary thought a moment, and then replied,
"Everthang but my earrings."     

                                    Louisiana

  A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying, "When the end of the world
comes, I hope to be in Louisiana .      "When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather
be in Louisiana 'cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the
rest of the world."      Mississippi  The young man from Mississippi came running
into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup
truck from the parking lot!"      Bubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?"     
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."   

 
                                  North Carolina 
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of
the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one
behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.      A passerby studied the scene
as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the
fellow what the problem was.The man replied, "I got a flat tahr."      The
passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"      The man responded, "When you
break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I
never did understand it neither ."  Tennessee      A Tennessee State trooper
pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"      The driver
replied, "Bout whut?"     

                                        Texas 
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading
garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping
garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."  "Yep," he
replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping
Garbage.'"