Author Topic: Shoot The Bull  (Read 290 times)

Offline WoodBurner

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Shoot The Bull
« on: September 19, 2017, 05:20:15 PM »
An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter:

“Want coffee.”

The waiter says, “Sure, Chief. Coming right up.”

He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee.

The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere and then just walks out.


The next morning the Indian returns.

He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling another male buffalo with the other.

He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter:

“Want coffee.”

The waiter says, “Whoa…! We’re still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?”

The Indian smiles and proudly says,

“Training for a position in United States Senate. Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day.
If it was easy everyone would be do'in it.

Offline Solar

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Re: Shoot The Bull
« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2017, 05:36:27 PM »
 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Offline morjoy1993

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Re: Shoot The Bull
« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2017, 05:59:40 PM »
I am loving the humor, but it is 100% true.  :popcorn:
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Online walkstall

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Re: Shoot The Bull
« Reply #3 on: September 19, 2017, 07:00:07 PM »
I am loving the humor, but it is 100% true.  :popcorn:

 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
And they said Indian are slow learners.
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Offline Solar

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Re: Shoot The Bull
« Reply #4 on: September 20, 2017, 05:15:59 AM »
I am loving the humor, but it is 100% true.  :popcorn:

A BEAR WALKS INTO A BAR...

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll have a pint of beer and a.......... packet of peanuts."

The bartender asks, "Why the big pause?"
Koolaid is for kids, TEA is for adults

Offline TboneAgain

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Re: Shoot The Bull
« Reply #5 on: September 20, 2017, 07:14:54 AM »
A BEAR WALKS INTO A BAR...

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll have a pint of beer and a.......... packet of peanuts."

The bartender asks, "Why the big pause?"

 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I love punny jokes, but I still think we should have a 'groan' smiley.....
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people. -- Tenth Amendment to the US Constitution

Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; IT IS FORCE. -- George Washington

Offline Solar

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Re: Shoot The Bull
« Reply #6 on: September 20, 2017, 07:51:26 AM »
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I love punny jokes, but I still think we should have a 'groan' smiley.....
Me too.
Two guys walk into a bart.
You'd have thought one of them would have ducked?

Always loved that one, but I'm, always amazed at the amount of people that stand with a puzzled look on their face.
If ya have to explain it? :rolleyes:

Looked for them, but they were all sarcastic, doesn't really represent 'humor' rather simply insults the poster who was attempting to lighten the moment.
Koolaid is for kids, TEA is for adults

Offline TboneAgain

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Re: Shoot The Bull
« Reply #7 on: September 20, 2017, 11:38:48 AM »
Me too.
Two guys walk into a bart.
You'd have thought one of them would have ducked?

Always loved that one, but I'm, always amazed at the amount of people that stand with a puzzled look on their face.
If ya have to explain it? :rolleyes:

Looked for them, but they were all sarcastic, doesn't really represent 'humor' rather simply insults the poster who was attempting to lighten the moment.

Here's one from WAY back. Hope you enjoy it.

Dale Evans presented her famous singing cowboy husband, Roy Rogers, with a pair of hand-made custom cowboy boots for Christmas one year. Roy was impressed, and vowed to wear them and care for them for the rest of his life.

The following spring, one of the cowhands came into the ranch house with bad news -- "Puma!!! Killed three new calves!!" Roy and his trusty ranch hands sprang into action, and of course Roy was wearing the boots Dale had given him.

Roy had split from the others and was riding Trigger up a lonesome gully when the killer cat appeared on a ledge several feet above Roy's ten-gallon hat. The puma leaped and knocked Roy off Trigger, who whinnied and stamped the ground while he watched his owner being mauled by the monster. Roy managed to defend himself by kicking the puma in the face, but the toll on his treasured boots was terrible. They were ripped and clawed to pieces. Finally, Roy pulled his famed six-guns and drove the puma away, injured and licking its wounds.

Trigger carried an exhausted Roy Rogers back to his ranch house and to Dale, who nursed him lovingly. Roy couldn't seem to get over the destruction of his prized boots, but he finally fell asleep.

When he woke the next morning, Roy greeted his top hand, who had come into the room to report on the night's activities. He dragged with him the carcass of a giant mountain lion, riddled with bullet holes and bloody with his last battle. And the top hand asked Rogers.....

"Pardon me, Roy. Is this the cat that chewed your new shoes?"
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people. -- Tenth Amendment to the US Constitution

Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; IT IS FORCE. -- George Washington

Offline Solar

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Re: Shoot The Bull
« Reply #8 on: September 20, 2017, 11:42:24 AM »
OK, I don't get it. :blink:
Koolaid is for kids, TEA is for adults

Offline TboneAgain

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Re: Shoot The Bull
« Reply #9 on: September 20, 2017, 12:37:09 PM »
OK, I don't get it. :blink:

My mom was born in 1933 and grew up with radio in the era of Swing. She loved songs like this, so I grew up with them too. I'm SURE you've heard it.

Like I said, it's from WAY back. Here's a rendition of "Chattanooga Choo Choo" by the Andrews Sisters, a cover of the original Glenn Miller hit from 1941, which was #1 on the Billboard charts for NINE WEEKS.

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people. -- Tenth Amendment to the US Constitution

Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; IT IS FORCE. -- George Washington

Offline Hoofer

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Re: Shoot The Bull
« Reply #10 on: September 20, 2017, 03:14:55 PM »

Business was terrible and not picking up. I had to fire somebody, and I narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack.

It was an impossible decision because they were both super workers.

Rather than flip a coin, I decided I would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.

Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night. She went to the cooler to take an aspirin.

I approached her and said, "Debra, I’ve never done this before but I have to either lay you or Jack off.”

"Could you jack off for now?" she says. "I feel like shit. If you can wait, I'll do you at lunchtime."

I had to let Jack go.
All animals are created equal; Some just take longer to cook.   Survival is keeping an eye on those around you...

Offline s3779m

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Re: Shoot The Bull
« Reply #11 on: September 20, 2017, 04:29:45 PM »
Business was terrible and not picking up. I had to fire somebody, and I narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack.

It was an impossible decision because they were both super workers.

Rather than flip a coin, I decided I would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.

Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night. She went to the cooler to take an aspirin.

I approached her and said, "Debra, I’ve never done this before but I have to either lay you or Jack off.”

"Could you jack off for now?" she says. "I feel like shit. If you can wait, I'll do you at lunchtime."

I had to let Jack go.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: hee hee hee hee  hahahahahaha  woo hoo :lol: :lol: Now thats funny.

Offline Solar

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Re: Shoot The Bull
« Reply #12 on: September 20, 2017, 05:28:21 PM »
My mom was born in 1933 and grew up with radio in the era of Swing. She loved songs like this, so I grew up with them too. I'm SURE you've heard it.

Like I said, it's from WAY back. Here's a rendition of "Chattanooga Choo Choo" by the Andrews Sisters, a cover of the original Glenn Miller hit from 1941, which was #1 on the Billboard charts for NINE WEEKS.


I'm sure had I heard it, I'd have gotten it, but reading it made no sense at all. Yeah, no doubt, that deserved a groaner smiley. :biggrin:
Koolaid is for kids, TEA is for adults

 

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