Studies have demonstrated that Rednecks have the lowest stress rate because they don't always understand the full seriousness of the most common medical terminology.


Medical Term             Redneck Definition

Artery                           The study of paintings

Bacteria                         Back door to cafeteria

Barium                           What doctors do when patients die

Benign                            What you be, after you be eight

Caesarean Section            A neighborhood in Rome

Cat scan                          Searching for Kitty

Cauterize                         Made eye contact with her

Colic                                A sheep dog

Coma                               A punctuation mark

Dilate                               To live long

Enema                              Not a friend

Fester                               Quicker than someone else

Fibula                                A small lie

Impotent                           Distinguished, well known

Labor Pain                         Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff                      A Doctor's cane

Morbid                               A higher offer

Nitrates                              Rates of Pay for Working at Night, Normally more money than Days

Node                                  I knew it

Outpatient                          A person who has fainted

Pelvis                                 Second cousin to Elvis

Post Operative                     A letter carrier

Recovery Room                   Place to do upholstery

Rectum                              Nearly killed him

Secretion                            Hiding something

Seizure                              Roman Emperor

Tablet                                A small table

Terminal Illness                  Getting sick at the airport

Tumor                                One plus one more

Urine                                 Opposite of you're out