QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME

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If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

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What disease did cured ham actually have?

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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

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Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby " when babies wake up like every two hours?

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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

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Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway..

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Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat ?

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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!

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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your aSS?

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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
 

funny stuff! very much in the vein of comedian Steven Wright.....funny, but with a twist!

Quote from: RightyRight on February 01, 2011, 08:14:34 AM
funny stuff! very much in the vein of comedian Steven Wright.....funny, but with a twist!

hahahaha Steven Wright is a genius...

STEVEN WRIGHT - The COMPLETE Works - stereo HQ - (pt.1 of 5)

QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME

LOL Hmmm good questions.... these are the only ones I can answer 

What disease did cured ham actually have? Swine Flu. 

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? Baby Whales.
 
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Mormons. 

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Yes. 

Why did you just try singing the two songs above? LOL Cause I'm a douche. 

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?  Tic Tac. 

Quote from: Josie on February 01, 2011, 11:47:09 AM
QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME

LOL Hmmm good questions.... these are the only ones I can answer 

What disease did cured ham actually have? Swine Flu. 

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? Baby Whales.
 
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Mormons. 

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Yes. 

Why did you just try singing the two songs above? LOL Cause I'm a douche. 

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?  Tic Tac.

Great answers... ;) ;) ;)

yeah, great answers!

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Two reasons, Ginger & Mary Anne. :)) :))