Author Topic: Puns For Educated Minds  (Read 3866 times)

Offline Shooterman

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Puns For Educated Minds
« on: October 24, 2010, 09:21:46 AM »
1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir
Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I was going to see an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,
but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it
was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6.A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are
looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said
to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.


14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small
medium at large.


16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a
seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your
count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine .

21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The
stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion
allowed per passenger.'

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in
the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't
have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The
other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope
that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten
did.



There's no ticks like Polyticks-bloodsuckers all Davy Crockett 1786-1836

Yankees are like castor oil. Even a small dose is bad.
[IMG]

Offline Solars Toy

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Re: Puns For Educated Minds
« Reply #1 on: October 24, 2010, 09:28:12 AM »
 :)) :)) :)) :)) :)) :)) :)) :))

Much better mood now....thank you.
“It’s comes down to a simple choice really, get busy living or get busy dying.”

Offline Shooterman

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Re: Puns For Educated Minds
« Reply #2 on: October 24, 2010, 09:31:18 AM »
:)) :)) :)) :)) :)) :)) :)) :))

Much better mood now....thank you.

My pleasure, M'am. Glad you enjoyed.
There's no ticks like Polyticks-bloodsuckers all Davy Crockett 1786-1836

Yankees are like castor oil. Even a small dose is bad.
[IMG]

Offline naleta

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Re: Puns For Educated Minds
« Reply #3 on: October 24, 2010, 09:35:13 AM »
I really like #5.  :)) :))

Offline Solar

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Re: Puns For Educated Minds
« Reply #4 on: October 24, 2010, 11:02:34 AM »
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

I heard this one when I was 7, it took nearly 20 years to get it.
My idiot brother screwed it up when he told it, he said:

"3. She was only a boot legger, but he still loved her."

He has dyslexia too. ;D
« Last Edit: October 24, 2010, 11:10:58 AM by Solar »
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Offline naleta

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Re: Puns For Educated Minds
« Reply #5 on: October 27, 2010, 11:14:09 PM »
Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!

 ;)

Offline Solar

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Re: Puns For Educated Minds
« Reply #6 on: October 28, 2010, 05:50:25 AM »
Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!

 ;)
;D ;D ;D ;D
We would, but no one can seem to dial the phone number to our headquarters.
Let alone read the directions put out by the foundation.

To all our memrebs, it will be a greta horon to meet yuo all this summer in Mew Nexico at the Led Rion motor inn.
We will haev a greta time, there will be gaems like, speed Scarble and a race to find room 99 or was that 66, no, it was 69, ethier way we will heav a greta time.

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Offline walkstall

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Re: Puns For Educated Minds
« Reply #7 on: October 28, 2010, 06:07:50 AM »
;D ;D ;D ;D
We would, but no one can seem to dial the phone number to our headquarters.
Let alone read the directions put out by the foundation.

To all our memrebs, it will be a greta horon to meet yuo all this summer in Mew Nexico at the Led Rion motor inn.
We will haev a greta time, there will be gaems like, speed Scarble and a race to find room 99 or was that 66, no, it was 69, ethier way we will heav a greta time.

Why do I have no problems reading this.  ;D
A politician thinks of the next election. A statesman, of the next generation.- James Freeman Clarke

Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession.  I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.  ~ Ronald Reagan ~

Always remember "Feelings Aren't Facts."

Offline Solar

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Re: Puns For Educated Minds
« Reply #8 on: October 28, 2010, 07:09:29 AM »
Why do I have no problems reading this.  ;D
???

 ;D
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Offline walkstall

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Re: Puns For Educated Minds
« Reply #9 on: October 28, 2010, 07:35:57 AM »
???

 ;D

You know  ??? backwards is  ???  :P
A politician thinks of the next election. A statesman, of the next generation.- James Freeman Clarke

Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession.  I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.  ~ Ronald Reagan ~

Always remember "Feelings Aren't Facts."

Offline Solar

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Re: Puns For Educated Minds
« Reply #10 on: October 28, 2010, 07:45:51 AM »
You know  ??? backwards is  ???  :P
Not to a dyslexic. UHH... :D
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