Author Topic: Phil's scrotum  (Read 836 times)

Offline wally

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Phil's scrotum
« on: February 23, 2018, 04:16:09 AM »
Phil's scrotum
The Best Story of the Year:

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.
Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."
You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Phil must have experienced.
"Phil was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain.
" We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Phil's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."
Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Phil.
"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Phil is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."
All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.

He said, "I'm Phil."
The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."
The press is our chief ideological weapon.
~ Nikita Khrushchev

Government does not solve problems; it subsidizes them.

~Ronald Reagan

Offline Solar

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Re: Phil's scrotum
« Reply #1 on: February 23, 2018, 06:10:20 AM »
 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Offline ZimZamZim

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Re: Phil's scrotum
« Reply #2 on: April 14, 2018, 10:03:10 AM »
 :biggrin: :thumbup: :lol:

Offline Sick Of Silence

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Re: Phil's scrotum
« Reply #3 on: April 14, 2018, 03:07:45 PM »
First Amendment isn't just Freedom Of Speech, it's Freedom Of Conscience.

Who made you the arbiter of morality? You are not Government but you sure are acting like one.


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