I had to look up paraprosdokian. Here is the definition:
1. Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation.
"Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian OK, so now enjoy! 

*   I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
 
*   Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
 
*   The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
 
*   Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
 
*   If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
 
*   We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
 
*   War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

*   Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

*   Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
 
*   To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
 
*   A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
 
*   I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
 
*   Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
 
*   I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
   
*   Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

*   A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
 
*   You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
 
*   Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
 
*   There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

*   I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
 
*   You're never too old to learn something stupid.
 
*   To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
 
*   Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
 
*   Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
 
*   A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.
 
*   Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.
 
*   When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
 
*   If we are supposed to learn from our mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

 ;D

These are really good! :D

Neat!  I've never heard the term... "paraprosdokian".....they are pretty cool!  :)) :))

Funny stuff, ST!!! "The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but...."  :P :P :P :P :P