Author Topic: Oldie, but goody  (Read 576 times)

Offline Solar

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Oldie, but goody
« on: September 09, 2018, 07:01:51 PM »
After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth, so I want you to kiss her." Adam answered, "Yes, Lord, but what is a 'kiss'?"

The Lord gave a brief description to Adam, who then took Eve by the hand and led her to a nearby bush. A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you, Lord. That was enjoyable." And the Lord replied, "Yes, Adam, I thought you might enjoy that.

Now I'd like you to caress Eve."And Adam said, "What is 'caress'?" So the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve.

Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, "Lord, that was even better than the kiss!" And the Lord said, "You've done well, Adam.
Now I want you to make love to Eve."And Adam asked, "What is 'make love' Lord?"

So the Lord again gave Adam directions and Adam went again to Eve behind the bush, but this time he reappeared in two seconds. And Adam said,
 
"Lord, what is a 'headache'?"

#WWG1WGA

Offline midcan5

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Re: Oldie, but goody
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2018, 05:21:55 AM »
"Late one night a man is driving down the road, speeding quite a bit. A cop notices how fast he is going and pulls him over. The cop says to the man, "Are you aware of how fast you were going?"

The man replies, "Yes I am. I'm trying to escape a robbery I got involved in."

The cop gives him a skeptical look and says, "Were you the one being robbed?"

The man casually replies, "No, I committed the robbery."

The cop looks shocked that the man admitted this. "So you're telling me you were speeding...and committed a robbery?"

"Yes," the man calmly says. "I have the loot in the back."

The cop begins to get angry. "Sir, I'm afraid you have to come with me." The cop reaches in the window to subdue the man.

"Don't do that!" the man yells fearfully. "I'm scared you will find the gun in my glove compartment!" The cop pulls his hand out. "Wait here," he says.

The cop calls for backup. Soon cops, cars, and helicopters are flooding the area. The man is cuffed quickly and taken towards a car.

However, before he gets in, a cop walks up to him and says, while gesturing to the cop that pulled him over, "Sir, this officer informed us that you had committed a robbery, had stolen loot in the trunk of your car, and had a loaded gun in your glove compartment. However, we found none of these things in your car."

The man replies, "Yeah, and I bet that liar said I was speeding too!"

 

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