Author Topic: Men Are Just Happier People  (Read 1605 times)

Offline wally

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Men Are Just Happier People
« on: February 06, 2011, 04:41:41 AM »
  Men Are Just Happier People   
 
 
 
NICKNAMES
 
· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
 
· If Mike , Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bonehead and Gopher Man.
 
 
 
EATING OUT
 
· When the bill arrives, Mike , Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
 
· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
 
 
 
MONEY
 
· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
 
· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
 
 
 
BATHROOMS
 
· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. Fewer if he uses an electric shaver...
 
· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
 
 
 
ARGUMENTS
 
· A woman has the last word in any argument.
 
· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
 
 
 
FUTURE
 
· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
 
· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
 
 
 
SUCCESS
 
· A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
 
· A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
 
 
 
MARRIAGE
 
· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
 
· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
 
 
 
DRESSING UP
 
· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
 
· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
 
 
 
NATURAL
 
· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
 
· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
 
 
 
OFFSPRING
 
· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
 
· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
 
 
 
 
 
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
 
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
 

 
 

 
 
The press is our chief ideological weapon.
~ Nikita Khrushchev

Government does not solve problems; it subsidizes them.

~Ronald Reagan

Offline WoodBurner

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Re: Men Are Just Happier People
« Reply #1 on: February 06, 2011, 04:57:29 AM »
Arguments = Nail on the head. :)
If it was easy everyone would be do'in it.

Online Solar

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Re: Men Are Just Happier People
« Reply #2 on: February 06, 2011, 02:10:39 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
#WWG1WGA

tbone0106

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Re: Men Are Just Happier People
« Reply #3 on: February 07, 2011, 05:20:30 PM »
"MONEY
 
· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
 
· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale."


In the tbone world, this is precisely correct, except tbone won't pay the $2, and Mrs. tbone doesn't mind if she doesn't even know what the item on sale is, she'll buy it anyway. Funny stuff, Wally! :P :P :P :P :P

 

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