A teacher goes around her class asking each of the kids what they need at home.

Joey says, "A computer."

The teacher replies, "That would be very useful."

Jenny says, "A new lawn mower."

The teacher again replies, "That would also be very useful."

Little Johnny pops up and says, "At my house we don't need anything!"

The teacher asks him to think again carefully, as everybody needs something.

Little Johnny replies, "No I'm sure. When Obama was re-elected, I clearly remember my dad saying; well, that's the last f---ing thing we needed!"

Lol this was literally a funny one, which made me laugh so long

 

"...that's the last f---ing thing we needed!"

That brought back a memory from years ago (maybe mid-60s).  I had a young kid working in my department who managed to find his way into my office fairly frequently with stories to tell or complaints to air.  This kid used every possible grammatical and linguistic permutation of the F-word sprinkled in his conversations.  He used them as nouns, verbs, adverbs, adjectives, and superlatives.

One day, he plunked himself in my guest chair, and started out, "I was sitting at my F-ing desk .."

That's as far as I let him get.  I stood up, "Whoa, whoa, wait a minute."

I eyed my desk from edge to edge and said, "They gave you a F-ing desk?

"Look at this beauty they gave me.  But they expect me to actually work at it!"