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New Years

Started by Hoofer, December 30, 2017, 05:04:03 PM

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Hoofer

I case you get to plastered to remember the words.

Should old acquaintances be forgotten,
And never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintances be forgotten,
And days of long ago !

Chorus:
For old long ago,
my dear For old long ago,
We will take a cup of kindness yet
For old long ago.

We two have run about the hillsides
And pulled the daisies fine,
But we have wandered many a weary foot
For old long ago.

We two have paddled (waded) in the stream
From noon until dinner time,
But seas between us broad have roared
Since old long ago.

And there is a hand,
my trusty friend,
And give us a hand of yours,
And we will take a goodwill draught (of ale)
For old long ago!

And surely you will pay for your pint,
And surely I will pay for mine!
And we will take a cup of kindness yet
For old long ago!

New Years Resolutions You Can Actually Keep

Read less.
I want to gain weight. Put on at least 30 pounds.
I will start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store
Stop exercising.
Waste of time.
Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.
Watch less T.V. in standard definition
Gain enough weight to get on The Biggest Loser.
Watch more movie remakes.
Start washing my hands after I use the restroom.
Procrastinate more.
I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.
I will become a vegan for a day and subsequently learn that it was a missed steak.
I will no longer waste my time relieving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future.
Drink. Drink some more.
Stop buying worthless junk on Ebay, because QVC has better specials
Start being superstitious.
Spend more time at work.
Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.
Take up a new habit: maybe smoking!

source: http://jokes4us.com/holidayjokes/newyearsjokes.html

Remember, before you drink, Alcohol is a contributing factor in death, and pregnancy.
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