There was an elderly man who wanted to make his new young wife pregnant. So he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor gave him a specimen cup and told him to take it home, fill it with semen, and bring it back the next day. The old man came back the next day, but the specimen cup was empty and the lid was still on it.
Doctor: "What was the problem?"
Old man: "Well, I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's sister tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing."
Doctor: "Wait a minute. You said your wife's sister too?!"
Elderly man: "Yeah, and we never did get the lid off this damn cup."

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D