Author Topic: Aphorisms  (Read 307 times)

Online Solar

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Aphorisms
« on: January 24, 2018, 09:41:10 AM »
Aphorism is a statement of truth or opinion expressed in a concise and witty manner.

Some of these are spot on! :biggrin:


The term is often applied to philosophical, moral and literary principles.
 
 
♦ I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but
shouldn't that be an even number?
 
♦ I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they
are flashing behind you.
 
♦ When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body. Men are so polite they only
look at the covered parts.
 
♦ Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered
Y?
 
♦ America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for
democracy but won't cross the street to vote.
 
♦ You know that tingly little feeling you get when you love someone? That's your
common sense leaving your body.
 
♦ My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.
 
♦ I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been Googling my name on her computer.
I saw it through my telescope last night.
 
♦ Money talks ... but all mine ever says is good-bye.
 
♦ You're not fat, you're just easier to see.
 
♦ If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
 
♦ I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give
you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out?"
 
♦ I can’t understand why women are OK that JC Penny has an older women’s clothing
line named, "Sag Harbor."
 
♦ Denny’s has a slogan, "If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us." If you’re in
Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!
 
♦ The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can go in
a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.
 
♦ I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of
tattoos.
   
♦ Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!
 
♦ The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married.
Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Ernest T Bass, Helen,
Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was
Otis, and he stayed drunk.
 

Now, don’t you feel better knowing what an aphorism is?
Koolaid is for kids, TEA is for adults

 

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