Author Topic: Aphorisms  (Read 590 times)

Online Solar

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« on: January 24, 2018, 09:41:10 AM »
Aphorism is a statement of truth or opinion expressed in a concise and witty manner.

Some of these are spot on! :biggrin:

The term is often applied to philosophical, moral and literary principles.
♦ I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but
shouldn't that be an even number?
♦ I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they
are flashing behind you.
♦ When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body. Men are so polite they only
look at the covered parts.
♦ Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered
♦ America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for
democracy but won't cross the street to vote.
♦ You know that tingly little feeling you get when you love someone? That's your
common sense leaving your body.
♦ My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.
♦ I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been Googling my name on her computer.
I saw it through my telescope last night.
♦ Money talks ... but all mine ever says is good-bye.
♦ You're not fat, you're just easier to see.
♦ If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
♦ I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give
you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out?"
♦ I can’t understand why women are OK that JC Penny has an older women’s clothing
line named, "Sag Harbor."
♦ Denny’s has a slogan, "If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us." If you’re in
Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!
♦ The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can go in
a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.
♦ I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of
♦ Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!
♦ The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married.
Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Ernest T Bass, Helen,
Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was
Otis, and he stayed drunk.

Now, don’t you feel better knowing what an aphorism is?


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