George and Martha are out for a Sunday cruise in George's treasured split-window coupe when a state trooper appears behind them and turns on the blue lights. As he eases the car to the edge of the road, George admonishes Martha, "Now, you keep quiet and let me do the talking. I'll have us out of here in no time."

The cop appears at the driver's window and asks to see George's license and registration. Handing over the documents, George asks, "Did you have a reason for pulling me over?"

"Sir, you were rolling at 65 mph in a 50 mph zone," the policeman replies. "Around here, that's speeding."

"Impossible," George argues. "I had my cruise control set at 45!"

Martha pipes up, "Oh George, this old car doesn't have cruise control. What are you talking about?"

George turns to her and says, "Dear, I told you to let me do the talking. Now be quiet."

"Sir, I also notice that your registration has expired," the cop continues." Those tags should have been renewed two months ago."

"Oh, that's just a paperwork thing," George answers. "I've got the new registration on my desk at home, just never got around to putting the sticker on the plate."

Martha: "Now, George, don't you remember telling me three months ago that you weren't going to pay for plates for this car any more because we almost never drive it?"

George, with anger in his voice: "Martha, I'm trying to deal with this situation, and you can't seem to control your tongue. Just sit there quietly until I'm finished."

The cop goes on, saying, "And finally, sir, I notice that you're not wearing a seat belt. In this county, that's an automatic $50 fine."

George replies, "Officer, I only took the belt off so I could get to my wallet so I could show you my driver's license!"

Martha says, "Oh George, you know you never wear a seat belt when we're out driving in this old car!"

George turns to her and says, "Woman, if you open your piehole once more, I'll shut it with my fist!"

Somewhat shocked, the cop bends down and looks across at Martha. "Does he talk like that to you all the time, ma'am?"

"Oh no," she says. "Only when he's had a lot to drink."

Hahaha