A guy walks into a bar with his dog at his heel. He orders a beer for himself, and a dish of water for the dog. Then he announces, "My dog ain't just any dog. He can talk!"

The bartender says, "Oh yeah? What can he say?"

The guy says, "If you wanna hear him talk, it'll cost you twenty bucks."

The bartender thinks about it for a bit, then smacks the cash register, drags out a double-sawbuck, and hands it to the guy. "Now, let's hear him talk!"

The guy looks at the dog and asks, "What's on top of a house?" The dog immediately responds, "ROOF!"

The guy asks, "How does sandpaper feel?" Instantly the dogs barks, "Rough!"

The guy asks, "Who was the greatest baseball hitter of all time?" The dog replies, "RUTH!"

With help from some of the bar's patrons, the bartender throws the guy and his dog out on the street.

As they're sitting there, the dog looks at his owner and asks, "Would Mickey Mantle be a better answer?"