Creche for then under-12 months

Started by jl1973, February 06, 2014, 04:57:00 AM

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jl1973

I'm new to the forum, so hope I've posted in the right place.  While this is not political, I am writing to you as I am hoping to find some advice from proud, independent, individualist, decent folk.

What do people think about putting children under-12 months in creche?  I would naturally favour the mother and father (and grandparents, of course) being the direct caregivers for the first year at least.  But life comes along and takes away choices...  You can look up the research, but what will you find?  I have a high-level academic background, and I see too much social "science" as following the PC line, where an implausibly high proportion of "findings" point in the "progressive" direction.  So, I wanted to ask a forum of people with wide experience. 

First: practicalities.  I don't have a leg to stand on: I work on a consultancy basis, with good but intermittent work coming my way.  It's building, but nothing wholly financially supportive just yet...  Conversely, it's my wife who has the fulltime, well-paid job.  And I am very happy for her - just in case you were wondering... 

I baulk at the communitarian aspect to creche - as seen by certain advocates.  (Even if you won the lottery or the mother never worked, they would still argue your child should be included in the system...)  My wife is conservative, and no ruthless career woman - proud, but she's not going higher, given what it would take in terms of time, geography, etc.  We're not both working to keep the mansion mortgage and the Ferrari loan and the holidays in Hawaii afloat.  That's not it.  We're practical people.

But what can I do?  Things are going well for me (touch wood, touch wood), but her taking time off work after maternity leave would not be on the cards...

How did you find it?  What do you make of research that does point towards various maladaptive aspects to being in a creche?  I have been reading about (French) women putting their kids in creche at 3 MONTHS!!!  At least we will have about 7-8 months...but still...

Would really value some sage advice.................

Solar

Your child, your choice, be a man and make the decision.

If you don't want to do it, then don't, it really is that simple.
If it were my child, no way would that child be left in the hands of people that wouldn't lay down their lives for it as a parent would.

Go with your gut, if you have reservations, there's probably a good reason for it.

My self, I'd move away from the idiots trying to convince you to relinquish parental obligations, that should set off warning bells alone.
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uronotenshi

Quote from: jl1973 on February 06, 2014, 04:57:00 AM
I'm new to the forum, so hope I've posted in the right place.  While this is not political, I am writing to you as I am hoping to find some advice from proud, independent, individualist, decent folk.

What do people think about putting children under-12 months in creche?  I would naturally favour the mother and father (and grandparents, of course) being the direct caregivers for the first year at least.  But life comes along and takes away choices...  You can look up the research, but what will you find?  I have a high-level academic background, and I see too much social "science" as following the PC line, where an implausibly high proportion of "findings" point in the "progressive" direction.  So, I wanted to ask a forum of people with wide experience. 

First: practicalities.  I don't have a leg to stand on: I work on a consultancy basis, with good but intermittent work coming my way.  It's building, but nothing wholly financially supportive just yet...  Conversely, it's my wife who has the fulltime, well-paid job.  And I am very happy for her - just in case you were wondering... 

I baulk at the communitarian aspect to creche - as seen by certain advocates.  (Even if you won the lottery or the mother never worked, they would still argue your child should be included in the system...)  My wife is conservative, and no ruthless career woman - proud, but she's not going higher, given what it would take in terms of time, geography, etc.  We're not both working to keep the mansion mortgage and the Ferrari loan and the holidays in Hawaii afloat.  That's not it.  We're practical people.

But what can I do?  Things are going well for me (touch wood, touch wood), but her taking time off work after maternity leave would not be on the cards...

How did you find it?  What do you make of research that does point towards various maladaptive aspects to being in a creche?  I have been reading about (French) women putting their kids in creche at 3 MONTHS!!!  At least we will have about 7-8 months...but still...

Would really value some sage advice.................
Hi,
  Are you talking about daycare?  Or is this something else?
  I'm not going to tell you what to do either way.  If you are going to go that route try to figure out what both of you would find acceptable in a day care facility.  Divide this between what the facility must have and what's negotiable.  Then visit and see what matches your list. 
  There are good and bad sides to daycare.  The reasons that have been listed are reasonable concerns.  Daycare may give a chance for socialization that a child (may or may not) get otherwise.  However, that may not be an issue.  Some families get more than enough socialization time for their children.  Good Luck.
Blessings,
Karen