Great criteria for me in a job

Started by cubedemon, July 29, 2015, 01:52:51 PM

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cubedemon

I was just thinking about this and I this criteria would be great for me in a job.

a.   Like my psychiatrist says, the tasks have to be concrete.

b.   Since I am a very concrete thinker, any job can't be ones that require inference of things that are vague or open to my interpretation.

c.  Any rule that is changed has to be told to me in a direct manner.

d.   The job would have to have a base routine and can't just change with the wind.  Corollary, if there is any change then I need to be told directly and when this change will be.

e.  I need to know when things are due.   Don't ask me when I will have them done because I have no idea as to how to give that information as there are many variables that can fudge this up.   If you tell me when things are due I can tell you  if I can do it by that time or not since I'm mulling through the details of what I need to do.   If there is an issue then I can state why I am unable to get it by that date and tell you the date that I can get it by.

f.   I need to know what I'm authorized to do when at the facility and where I can walk to or ride to.

g.  I need to know what I'm required to do as in my list of duties for each day for my job.  If it is required, then please state in direct terms that it is required.  Don't make it sound like it is optional. 

h.  I need to know what is not required.   Example,If there is a company picnic, is my attendance required?

i.  I need to know what I'm not authorized to do.  Let's say somehow I become a janitor.   Are there areas I'm not allowed to clean and rooms I'm not supposed to go into.   

j.   Any communication sent to me, please send it by email and tell me the facts only.

k.  If I do something wrong or inappropriate like being rude, then I need examples of when I was rude, how I was rude and what I need to do to correct myself.   Same thing with taking initiative. If someone says or the boss says I lack initiative, I need to know specific examples of how I didn't and what steps and measures I need to take to display initiative. 

What do you guys think?  Am I asking for too much?  If yes, is there anything I can (techniques) do for myself to lessen these needs for myself and attempt to adapt on other people's terms?

Solar

In reading your blog, it would appear you've given up?
Never give up, just change what you perceive as success, it's possible you've set your standards incredibly high.

Yes, this is the final entry from Cubes blog, all sixteen billion pages of thought provoking, riveting suspense filled pages including a murder plot.
Nah, I kid, no murder plot, unless you consider the two hours I killed reading through it. :biggrin:

I might add Cube, you might consider writing short stories if you have some imagination, you have an excellent grasp for structure.

Conclusion: Summary of Why I need to Quit

It is with a heavy heart and great sadness that because of my neurology, lack of assistance and the employer's standards which are based on American societal standards I do not see how I can succeed in America whatsoever.  I grew up learning that employment was a certain way.   There are assumptions and myths I had about employment which are not true in today's world.  I grew up believing these myths and these assumptions and made my decisions around these myths and assumptions.   In addition, I grew up believing that all one had to do was get a degree and one could just get a job just like that.

Albert Einstein said, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."   There comes a point in time when one has to stop what he is doing especially when he is not getting positive results and all it is doing is affecting his mental health and causing him emotional problems.    My mental and emotional health is at stake here.     In order for me to succeed, I need other people's help and they will not provide it.   This is due to cultural beliefs that they have in America of extreme independence, self-reliance and extreme internal locus of control.   I did try to work it out myself and I am making progress here and there.   It is only minute though as I still have gaps in my understanding of how to obtain a job, how the workplace structure is set up, and how to determine where the bottom is.   This is why after a while I had to call it quits.
https://whyifailedinamerica1.wordpress.com/page/17/
Official Trump Cult Member

#WWG1WGA

Q PATRIOT!!!

Hoofer

It has been said, "The easiest way to ruin a hobby is turn it into a business."  That - I've done a couple of times, but, I've enjoyed it everytime.

Personally, I've enjoyed every job I've had, except one (which was following an ex-boss to another job, quitting a very successful company, big mistake!).

"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose" - Janis Joplin    If that is your personal philosophy, you can indeed lose everything, and still be content - things will come and go.  It sort of removes the fear of failure & gives you more mental freedom to take greater risks.   Things become more or less a vehicle to achieve something else - pleasure, service, serving God, family & others...  whatever you decide.

The problem I have with
Quote from: cubedemon on July 29, 2015, 01:52:51 PM
I was just thinking about this and I this criteria would be great for me in a job.

a.   Like my psychiatrist says, the tasks have to be concrete.
b.   Since I am a very concrete thinker, any job can't be ones that require inference of things that are vague or open to my interpretation.
c.  Any rule that is changed has to be told to me in a direct manner.

Interpretation:  manage me.  manage my time, my tasks, because I'm afraid to make mistakes, take risks or use my noggin to improve my job.

Quote from: cubedemon on July 29, 2015, 01:52:51 PM
d.   The job would have to have a base routine and can't just change with the wind.  Corollary, if there is any change then I need to be told directly and when this change will be.

e.  I need to know when things are due.   Don't ask me when I will have them done because I have no idea as to how to give that information as there are many variables that can fudge this up.   If you tell me when things are due I can tell you  if I can do it by that time or not since I'm mulling through the details of what I need to do.   If there is an issue then I can state why I am unable to get it by that date and tell you the date that I can get it by.

Interpretation:  I want my time managed, micro-managed.   Flexibility is not in my vocabulary.  Like a cow, horse or a goat, I expect to be fed and milked on schedule - then I'm happy.  If you change my schedule, it's YOUR FAULT when things don't happen.   
The problem I hate to point out - managers are IDIOTS if they're bean-counters and resort to metrics as a measure & throw out the customer experience.  In the service industry, setting hard 'n fast schedules are an indication that manager has unrealistic expectations.

Quote from: cubedemon on July 29, 2015, 01:52:51 PM
f.   I need to know what I'm authorized to do when at the facility and where I can walk to or ride to.
g.  I need to know what I'm required to do as in my list of duties for each day for my job.  If it is required, then please state in direct terms that it is required.  Don't make it sound like it is optional. 
h.  I need to know what is not required.   Example,If there is a company picnic, is my attendance required?
i.  I need to know what I'm not authorized to do.  Let's say somehow I become a janitor.   Are there areas I'm not allowed to clean and rooms I'm not supposed to go into.   
j.   Any communication sent to me, please send it by email and tell me the facts only.

Interpretation:  I am not a "company man" for some joint that wants ROBOTS instead of THINKING INDIVIDUALS.  Your talent is being wasted instead of being cultivated in a positive work environment.   When you've made constructive suggestions in the past, their rejected out-of-hand.

Quote from: cubedemon on July 29, 2015, 01:52:51 PM
k.  If I do something wrong or inappropriate like being rude, then I need examples of when I was rude, how I was rude and what I need to do to correct myself.   Same thing with taking initiative. If someone says or the boss says I lack initiative, I need to know specific examples of how I didn't and what steps and measures I need to take to display initiative. 

What do you guys think?  Am I asking for too much?  If yes, is there anything I can (techniques) do for myself to lessen these needs for myself and attempt to adapt on other people's terms?


a.  Find another job where you're appreciated, and your talents can be put to work improving the company and yourself.
b.  Start your own business - keep your current job, plod along as you may be required to do, but pick a hobby and direct your weekends or free time to turning it into something satisfying.
c.  Learn to be content, with and without.   There is a God, He loves you, and didn't put you on this earth to shrivel up and die, find His purpose for your life, and share in His joy & fulfillment.
d.  We are not responsible for what people do to us, just how we respond to them.   Given the right attitude, we can live positively in a very negative culture, without surrendering our soul, intellect & values.  The secret is:  Everyone finds a way to enjoy life.
e.  Dumb-happy is an expression for Dogs and drug abusers.   You're an intelligent, thoughtful individual, the type of person most of us here could carry on a lengthy conversation with over coffee or a beer.  People are so "plugged in busy" today, few of them actually have an original thought, they're just repeating something they heard at work, watched on TV or Radio.  You don't sound like that type at all.
f.  smother your enemies with kindness.  When I found out my biggest "problem" loved Lime-flavored shakes...  she probably started gaining weight, thanks to me (and got much less critical).  In another case, the office said so-and-so is a real "problem" for us - the guy is a very smart engineer by trade, he just thinks and speaks a different language - has become my best friend of +30 years!

All animals are created equal; Some just take longer to cook.   Survival is keeping an eye on those around you...

cubedemon

Quote from: kj4adn on September 06, 2015, 11:23:29 AM
It has been said, "The easiest way to ruin a hobby is turn it into a business."  That - I've done a couple of times, but, I've enjoyed it everytime.

Personally, I've enjoyed every job I've had, except one (which was following an ex-boss to another job, quitting a very successful company, big mistake!).

"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose" - Janis Joplin    If that is your personal philosophy, you can indeed lose everything, and still be content - things will come and go.  It sort of removes the fear of failure & gives you more mental freedom to take greater risks.   Things become more or less a vehicle to achieve something else - pleasure, service, serving God, family & others...  whatever you decide.

The problem I have with
Interpretation:  manage me.  manage my time, my tasks, because I'm afraid to make mistakes, take risks or use my noggin to improve my job.

Interpretation:  I want my time managed, micro-managed.   Flexibility is not in my vocabulary.  Like a cow, horse or a goat, I expect to be fed and milked on schedule - then I'm happy.  If you change my schedule, it's YOUR FAULT when things don't happen.   
The problem I hate to point out - managers are IDIOTS if they're bean-counters and resort to metrics as a measure & throw out the customer experience.  In the service industry, setting hard 'n fast schedules are an indication that manager has unrealistic expectations.

Interpretation:  I am not a "company man" for some joint that wants ROBOTS instead of THINKING INDIVIDUALS.  Your talent is being wasted instead of being cultivated in a positive work environment.   When you've made constructive suggestions in the past, their rejected out-of-hand.


a.  Find another job where you're appreciated, and your talents can be put to work improving the company and yourself.
b.  Start your own business - keep your current job, plod along as you may be required to do, but pick a hobby and direct your weekends or free time to turning it into something satisfying.
c.  Learn to be content, with and without.   There is a God, He loves you, and didn't put you on this earth to shrivel up and die, find His purpose for your life, and share in His joy & fulfillment.
d.  We are not responsible for what people do to us, just how we respond to them.   Given the right attitude, we can live positively in a very negative culture, without surrendering our soul, intellect & values.  The secret is:  Everyone finds a way to enjoy life.
e.  Dumb-happy is an expression for Dogs and drug abusers.   You're an intelligent, thoughtful individual, the type of person most of us here could carry on a lengthy conversation with over coffee or a beer.  People are so "plugged in busy" today, few of them actually have an original thought, they're just repeating something they heard at work, watched on TV or Radio.  You don't sound like that type at all.
f.  smother your enemies with kindness.  When I found out my biggest "problem" loved Lime-flavored shakes...  she probably started gaining weight, thanks to me (and got much less critical).  In another case, the office said so-and-so is a real "problem" for us - the guy is a very smart engineer by trade, he just thinks and speaks a different language - has become my best friend of +30 years!

First, I do appreciate the time you took to write this.  I know you probably have other things going on in your life.   

Second, I do struggle with binary (black and white) type thinking, rigidity, and I do struggle with general and abstract concepts.  I believe I have become a bit better at it but I still struggle with it.  I have read about abstract thinking to try to understand the concept a bit better.  Still, it is difficult and I struggle I have gotten better.  One thing that has helped is to think of things like a dimmer instead of regular light switch.   Still, I have missing gaps in my understanding of things.

Third,  I do attempt to use my noggin.  People have similar different characteristics.   Where the problem comes up is this.  If we look at the population with their similar and differing characteristics I bet most people fall within two standard deviations.   More than likely they will come to similar conclusions at certain times about reality.   More than likely, I fall outside of these two standard deviations.   My conclusions about reality more than likely may be more out there than others.  If I am in a group of 20 people they could see varying shades of red.   I may not see red at all but a particular shade of green.   I believe even Solar said that things are relative (Was it Solar?  I don't remember).   Things are open to my interpretation.   How would I determine what everyone else thought was correct in a job setting or the way I am supposed to go?  If I am told to think outside the box,  Is it my own box, my bosses box, the company's box or someone else's box?   If I am to take initiative then I would need to know What methods and techniques can I use on my own to tell what is required of me, what is optional, what are my authorization levels and what am I not authorized to do?   How would I determine this stuff if I am expected to use my own noggin and reality is open to my interpretation?  What specific methods and techniques can I use?

I'm not afraid of making mistakes.   Here is what I am afraid of.  I am afraid of the consequences of mistakes especially those mistakes that would lead one to a detrimental outcome for myself and for possibly others especially if it is irreversible.  I can pick up the wrong light bulb and realize I got the wrong one and I can always go back to get the right one.  That mistake I'm not afraid.    For me, in the workplace at least because of differing interpretations (I see green, others see red) it would be a proverbial minefield for me.   What can I specifically do about this?  What are some concrete, specific and practical solutions to this?

Fourth, If I am to be employed (self-employed or not) and to keep my employment I would need to be shown how and have certain things explained to me in specific and concrete terms and have questions I have.  For example, how do be myself yet be employed?   Do I have to put on a fake persona and pretend to be something I'm not or am I misunderstanding what be yourself even means.  If I'm forced to put on a fake persona because of social standards and the social veneer then wouldn't I be fake and dishonest?  It seems like its a catch-22 in which it is damned if you do and damned if you don't?  How do I be honest, be virtuous and still be who I am? 

I wrote this right here.  Is this what be yourself means or am I way off the ballpark still?

https://whyifailedinamerica1.wordpress.com/2015/05/14/what-be-yourself-means/ 

Another concept I don't understand is the concept of blame.  Why is one not allowed to blame others or any other external entity no matter the circumstances or situation?  For example, why wouldn't the jews be allowed to blame the nazis for what was done to them in the concentration camps?  Why is blaming others wrong no matter what?   It is stuff like this that trips me up.  It would be helpful if someone would break it down.


Finally, I would like to say something and give my feedback.  There are people out there like myself who can succeed in things like employment.  We need to be able to learn the way you all communicate and learn to communicate in the way you all communicate effectively.  That's fine. Thing is we need guidance and instruction to do that especially if we are to learn the majority's way of thinking.  If you all want Socialism gone, in my opinion you have to attack the demand for it.   Help those who need help and provide guidance to those who need it and show those who don't know how to fish, well, how to fish.  You help someone like myself out and provide guidance, that's one less person off the government dole.


cubedemon

Oh yeah, I forgot to put this.  When one is dealing with employers they have to be able to stay in business.   For, for profit organizations, their goal is to make a profit which is revenue - expenses.   For non-profits whatever they make in a given time frame can't be a loss.   Since profit doesn't exist in a non-profit then whatever would be considered profit has to be redistributed back into the company or used for the causes of the non-profit.  It is the same with government.   The revenue they bring in would have to be greater than the cost. 

For me to be a successful employee and to be able to keep my job my work has to be able to either increase the organization's revenue or decrease their cost.  I would have to be somewhere in which I bring value to the organization yet still be able to function in the social environment and be able to effectively do the job.  This is me attempting to put myself in their shoes.   Where could I go in which the organization could vibe with me and I could vibe with them so we could all bring benefit to each other?  If running a business would be better then what would be a good business to try to run and start with my issues who does not have that much start up capital?  Would it be possible to try to kind of overcome or workaround part of my issues to try to compromise to where I could be functional somewhere? 

Hoofer

Quote from: cubedemon on September 08, 2015, 11:02:33 AM
First, I do appreciate the time you took to write this.  I know you probably have other things going on in your life.   

Second, I do struggle with binary (black and white) type thinking, rigidity, and I do struggle with general and abstract concepts.  I believe I have become a bit better at it but I still struggle with it.  I have read about abstract thinking to try to understand the concept a bit better.  Still, it is difficult and I struggle I have gotten better.  One thing that has helped is to think of things like a dimmer instead of regular light switch.   Still, I have missing gaps in my understanding of things.

Correct me if I got this wrong, I understand that as opposite ends of the spectrum.  Are you a Coder/programmer?  - when I was, the problem wasn't seeing the solution (which was an abstract idea/concept, we were breaking new ground, nothing is absolute), but taking absolute (code, machine language, something with limitations/boundries) to obtain the end result....   "Ok, I know what I want, THIS is capable of getting me there - but the gaps in my understanding how to implement it ... are keeping me from getting there!".   :huh:

Quote from: cubedemon on September 08, 2015, 11:02:33 AM
Third,  I do attempt to use my noggin.  People have similar different characteristics.   Where the problem comes up is this.  If we look at the population with their similar and differing characteristics I bet most people fall within two standard deviations.   More than likely they will come to similar conclusions at certain times about reality.   More than likely, I fall outside of these two standard deviations.   My conclusions about reality more than likely may be more out there than others.  If I am in a group of 20 people they could see varying shades of red.   I may not see red at all but a particular shade of green.   I believe even Solar said that things are relative (Was it Solar?  I don't remember).   Things are open to my interpretation.   How would I determine what everyone else thought was correct in a job setting or the way I am supposed to go?  If I am told to think outside the box,  Is it my own box, my bosses box, the company's box or someone else's box?   If I am to take initiative then I would need to know What methods and techniques can I use on my own to tell what is required of me, what is optional, what are my authorization levels and what am I not authorized to do?   How would I determine this stuff if I am expected to use my own noggin and reality is open to my interpretation?  What specific methods and techniques can I use?
Since you're beholden to others (self-employed is beholden to customers!), the simple, most effective way to know/learn is to ASK.  A little humility actually reaps great rewards, "What am I doing, or not doing to...?", ask your boss / lead, "I want to understand how or what I need to do to ...."  Sometimes the answer is really good & makes sense, sometimes it constrains you to DO what they suggested, sometimes it can reveal other intentions, motivations you never considered.   At the least, it does help open worthwhile communication, and hopefully mutual trust.

Quote from: cubedemon on September 08, 2015, 11:02:33 AM
I'm not afraid of making mistakes.   Here is what I am afraid of.  I am afraid of the consequences of mistakes especially those mistakes that would lead one to a detrimental outcome for myself and for possibly others especially if it is irreversible.  I can pick up the wrong light bulb and realize I got the wrong one and I can always go back to get the right one.  That mistake I'm not afraid.    For me, in the workplace at least because of differing interpretations (I see green, others see red) it would be a proverbial minefield for me.   What can I specifically do about this?  What are some concrete, specific and practical solutions to this?
All mistakes are irreversible, knowledge and understanding is reversible - the application of it is wisdom...  Why are older dudes wiser than younger dudes?   They've had more time to learn from their mistakes and the mistakes of others.  While I was Coding, actually writing the software for a BBS, back in the '80s, I did at least 3 complete re-writes in 11 years.  Trying to put a concept into concrete is difficult.  Some mistakes (failure to backup) were costly...   I learned to marathon code, out of necessity after a major system crash, or backup corruption.

Speaking of light bulbs, if you picked a green one over a red one - the results would be catastrophic in a darkroom.

What manager doesn't want results the FIRST time, with the least effort?  But, if what you're doing is R&D, only an idiot would hang onto a failed idea, after it's been proven not to work.  Either the concept is bad, the effort is bad, etc., or the people trying to solve the puzzle are ill equipped to do the job - which is not their fault, that's a management issue, IMHO.   

Quote from: cubedemon on September 08, 2015, 11:02:33 AM
Fourth, If I am to be employed (self-employed or not) and to keep my employment I would need to be shown how and have certain things explained to me in specific and concrete terms and have questions I have.  For example, how do be myself yet be employed?   Do I have to put on a fake persona and pretend to be something I'm not or am I misunderstanding what be yourself even means.  If I'm forced to put on a fake persona because of social standards and the social veneer then wouldn't I be fake and dishonest?  It seems like its a catch-22 in which it is damned if you do and damned if you don't?  How do I be honest, be virtuous and still be who I am? 
The Apostle Paul said life was like a endurance race, in which he said (Philippians 3:13-14), "Brethren, I count no myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus".   Whether it is a Christian goal or not, the advice is the same, keep looking ahead, and working toward that goal.  I might add, Paul was not without his critics!

We do most things because it is the RIGHT thing to do, forget the feelings of false persona.  False persona is for Actors, they do it for a living - and no honest person would ever take them SERIOUSLY, would they?  I'd rather be average than not know who or what I am.   

Quote from: cubedemon on September 08, 2015, 11:02:33 AM
Another concept I don't understand is the concept of blame.  Why is one not allowed to blame others or any other external entity no matter the circumstances or situation?  For example, why wouldn't the jews be allowed to blame the nazis for what was done to them in the concentration camps?  Why is blaming others wrong no matter what?   It is stuff like this that trips me up.  It would be helpful if someone would break it down. 

BLAME - That's a load I wouldn't want to pick up and carry.  Aside from attempting to rid myself of guilt, bad things can happen to good people - but we might not understand why ... for a l-o-n-g time.  Satan is called the accuser of the brethren, day and night, before the throne of God.   Keep in mind, Satan is accusing us of sins that have already been forgiven...!   Blame and Guilt seem to be pretty closely related - and curiously, both eventually lead to depression and anger.   

The worst thing a man can do is pick up an offense that does not belong to him.  I ask, seriously, HOW do you satisfy that hurt, anger, depression, feelings for revenge, etc.?!   "You did THIS to my friend!"   Once the wrong has been righted between the two original parties, is there ANYTHING the offender actually OWES the 3rd party?   The 3rd party feels wronged, yet they have no standing, they feel angry, yet they weren't wronged - once the issue is resolved, the 3rd party becomes the guilty party for harboring ill feelings (and trying to hang onto the original conflict ... it's taken on a new life of it's own!).

The book of Job is an interesting read.  Job saw the best in life come crashing down around him ... yet he remained faithful to God.  His friends weren't much help, probing into the depths of his heart, searching for hidden fault, and his wife (curse God and die), was probably getting sick-n-tired of seeing him beaten like a dog.   We have the benefit of knowing - there was a great battle between God and Satan over the faithfulness of Job.   Sometimes it takes a L-O-N-G time to see the big picture.

Quote from: cubedemon on September 08, 2015, 11:02:33 AM
Finally, I would like to say something and give my feedback.  There are people out there like myself who can succeed in things like employment.  We need to be able to learn the way you all communicate and learn to communicate in the way you all communicate effectively.  That's fine. Thing is we need guidance and instruction to do that especially if we are to learn the majority's way of thinking.  If you all want Socialism gone, in my opinion you have to attack the demand for it.   Help those who need help and provide guidance to those who need it and show those who don't know how to fish, well, how to fish.  You help someone like myself out and provide guidance, that's one less person off the government dole.

I wouldn't have wasted my time replying if I thought you were a helpless basket case.   Albert Einstein wasn't voted "most popular", "likely to succeed"... but, for a guy that did a lot of thinking in the ABSTRACT, he sure made a name for himself!   I can't imagine the nights he spent awake, or woke up suddenly with an, "ah HA!" ....   Or, maybe sleep was the only time his mind rested...?   Some of us ... are better problem solvers in our dreams than during waking hours.  That might be the only time God has our attention long enough to guide us in the right direction?

Give a man a fish, feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime.

Sell a man a fish, feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish, and miss out on a profitable business venture.

Communication, they say, "is a two way street, 80% them talking ... ", ... you get the idea.   I met this guy that hardly ever said anything, but was a great listener.   When he did speak up, it was profound.  He replied more often with his FACIAL EXPRESSIONS than with WORDS. Nodding, Ah huh, raising his eyebrows, wincing, smiling - all on que like he was living or reflecting the story he was being told.  That guy figured out the communication stuff pretty good, IMHO.

------------------

OK I clicked on the link and read it - after writing the above.
The only thing I'd add, you can be the HERO to the people you work for (fixing their problems, helping them), or picture them as the complete idiots, helpless as they are, simpletons - like the rest of the burnt out IT people that write jokes about them.  It will effect you and the way you approach your job, whether or not you achieve any satisfaction or feel like a cog in a machine.  I see both types all the time at my regular job.  My original remarks about taking a hobby, possibly turning it into a profitable venture... shouldn't be passed off lightly.

Quote from: cubedemon on September 08, 2015, 12:47:14 PM
Oh yeah, I forgot to put this.  When one is dealing with employers they have to be able to stay in business.
...
If running a business would be better then what would be a good business to try to run and start with my issues who does not have that much start up capital?  Would it be possible to try to kind of overcome or workaround part of my issues to try to compromise to where I could be functional somewhere? 

One of the reasons people start a business while working a full time job is to keep necessary benefits, healthcare, 401K, whatever.  It takes a load off a new venture so fixed costs don't eat up everything while you're trying to get it going.   That can take 2-5 years.  Been there... done that.  It also gives you TIME to tweek the way you're doing business, get schooling, make contacts, make sales, etc., without the PRESSURE to perform.   If you have a bad couple of weeks or months, so what!?  You keep the house, car, etc., the bills are still being paid.  IMHO, the biggest time waster is TV, followed closely by INTERNET usage, if they cannot enhance what you want to do, then choose to do without.  I can build antennas & listen to the radio.  I cannot do anything with a TV begging for my attention.

Lastly - WHAT do you want to do?  If you don't know, what do you do with your free time?  What do your friends do with their free time that you like to hang out while they're doing it?  Still a no-go...?   On your next vacation, do something you've never done before, go somewhere, and talk to the people that are doing things of interest to you.... then ask yourself again.
All animals are created equal; Some just take longer to cook.   Survival is keeping an eye on those around you...

cubedemon

Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AM
Correct me if I got this wrong, I understand that as opposite ends of the spectrum.  Are you a Coder/programmer?  - when I was, the problem wasn't seeing the solution (which was an abstract idea/concept, we were breaking new ground, nothing is absolute), but taking absolute (code, machine language, something with limitations/boundries) to obtain the end result....   "Ok, I know what I want, THIS is capable of getting me there - but the gaps in my understanding how to implement it ... are keeping me from getting there!".   :huh:

Crap,I just re-read what I wrote.  It is poorly written and I need to clarify.   What I mean is that my natural tendency is to think in black and white terms.  This is an autistic trait.   I struggle with nuances and differing shades of grey in social situations.   For coding, once I understood the syntax I was able to work with code and create differing programs.  With people and social situations, its not like this.   Things are more nuanced.   It is difficult for me to work with 50 shades of grey.   

I don't understand the statement you made that "nothing is absolute."   If what you say is true then by its own internal logic it has to be false.   How can the statement "nothing is absolute" well be absolute?    I don't follow.   When I observe my external reality I see constraints and things relative to constraints.  Example:  1 + 1 =2.   This is true but within a certain construct.  It is true within the base 10 number system which is what we use.  1 + 1 =10 in the binary number base system.  Really 1, +, and = are really representation of concepts like quantity and equality.  One could use differing symbols.  To me, absolutes are relative to their differing constraints and once one leaves the constraints than it is no longer absolute.     Do I make sense?

Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMSince you're beholden to others (self-employed is beholden to customers!), the simple, most effective way to know/learn is to ASK.  A little humility actually reaps great rewards, "What am I doing, or not doing to...?", ask your boss / lead, "I want to understand how or what I need to do to ...."  Sometimes the answer is really good & makes sense, sometimes it constrains you to DO what they suggested, sometimes it can reveal other intentions, motivations you never considered.   At the least, it does help open worthwhile communication, and hopefully mutual trust.

What happens with my asking is this.   I can end up asking a ton of questions to make sure I am understanding what they're saying correctly and it can annoy them a lot.   Most people become annoyed with what they would perceive as an interrogation.    Is there a way around this?

Another thing, I do not know about other people but I can say for myself that my knowledge is limited.   This includes knowing what I do not know and not knowing what I don't know.   What I mean is, I may think I am doing something correctly or I understand what the boss desires but I really do not.   This also can apply in other non-work related settings as well.   This happens to me a lot.   What methods and techniques can I use for myself to overcome this without being a burden on others?  For knowing what I do not know, I can find the answer.  For things I do not realize or conceive of I would not know how it is possible to look it up or derive an answer without my being made aware of it from my boss, someone else or accidentally stumbling onto it. 

Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMAll mistakes are irreversible, knowledge and understanding is reversible - the application of it is wisdom...  Why are older dudes wiser than younger dudes?   They've had more time to learn from their mistakes and the mistakes of others.  While I was Coding, actually writing the software for a BBS, back in the '80s, I did at least 3 complete re-writes in 11 years.  Trying to put a concept into concrete is difficult.  Some mistakes (failure to backup) were costly...   I learned to marathon code, out of necessity after a major system crash, or backup corruption.

How are all mistake irreversible?   I do not follow.   If I get the wrong light bulb, I can go back to the store, return it, and get a different one.   

I can imagine why it would be costly.   You would have to re-write the code from scratch and that takes time. 

I will say that it is mostly true that older dudes are wiser than younger dudes but not totally true.   One of the issues I see with older dudes and the older generation is (maybe I'm misperceiving) but they seem to think that the younger generation knows and understands more than they really do.   This is the main issue that I see.   



Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMSpeaking of light bulbs, if you picked a green one over a red one - the results would be catastrophic in a darkroom.

Why would that be so?   Color is a frequency on the visible spectrum which are a set of frequencies on the electromagnetic spectrum?  Are you saying that different frequencies are bad in combination together?  How is that so?

Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMWhat manager doesn't want results the FIRST time, with the least effort? 

If I was a manager I would as well.   I don't think that is realistic though.  Look at Murphy's Law.  Look at Shwartz's law as well.  Shwartz said "Murphy was an optimist."   

Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMBut, if what you're doing is R&D, only an idiot would hang onto a failed idea, after it's been proven not to work.  Either the concept is bad, the effort is bad, etc., or the people trying to solve the puzzle are ill equipped to do the job - which is not their fault, that's a management issue, IMHO.   

Totally 100% Agree!

Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMThe Apostle Paul said life was like a endurance race, in which he said (Philippians 3:13-14), "Brethren, I count no myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus".   Whether it is a Christian goal or not, the advice is the same, keep looking ahead, and working toward that goal.  I might add, Paul was not without his critics!

This is why I need major assistance, as in guidance and instruction, from other people.  First, how do I determine what is correct and what is incorrect.  Unless it is blatantly obvious like murder, pedophilia, etc I do not know.   Second, in order for me to set a goal I would need to know what options I have, what my allowable moves are and what my constraints currently are.  Third, I would need to know how society worked including both what is official and unofficial.  Third, I would need to know how all of these things fits and interrelates together as a whole.  With coding, I am able to code because I understand the logic of the syntax and how the logic of the code can fit together in an allowable way.   With living life in American society, alas poor Yoric, I know not how.

Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMWe do most things because it is the RIGHT thing to do, forget the feelings of false persona.  False persona is for Actors, they do it for a living - and no honest person would ever take them SERIOUSLY, would they?  I'd rather be average than not know who or what I am.   

The thing American society just like any society has expected social standards and social norms that one is expected to follow without question.   For example, I have difficulty making eye contact or determining in the moment how much grip one is supposed to have when shaking another person's hand.   For employers and people, lack of eye contact is a deal breaker.   Even when I try to explain why I have difficulty they won't accept this.  Part of the social norms is that one has to put on this bravado of confidence.   I have fundamental problems with confidence because of this right here: 

https://whyifailedinamerica1.wordpress.com/2013/04/23/confidence-and-honesty/


Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMBLAME - That's a load I wouldn't want to pick up and carry.  Aside from attempting to rid myself of guilt, bad things can happen to good people - but we might not understand why ... for a l-o-n-g time.  Satan is called the accuser of the brethren, day and night, before the throne of God.   Keep in mind, Satan is accusing us of sins that have already been forgiven...!   Blame and Guilt seem to be pretty closely related - and curiously, both eventually lead to depression and anger.

I don't understand.   Without blaming, how can a problem be identified.   Let's say, my screen is flickering and it turns out that the back light is malfunctioning.   I've blamed the problem on the back light so therefore I can fix it.  After fixing it, problem solved.  Without assigning blame and fault then how can one identify the problem and fix the problem?  It makes no sense to me.

If we don't blame the guilty parties like the Nazis for what they did then how would have have received their trial at Nuremberg.   Without blame, how can the guilty parties be identified and receive their punishment for their crimes?

So, I don't understand the American social construct of why one is not allowed to blame others or external entities no matter the circumstances.   Let's say I was one of those inmates at the concentration camps.  Why would I not be allowed to blame the nazis for what they did then?  Why is this a social no-no?

Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMThe worst thing a man can do is pick up an offense that does not belong to him.  I ask, seriously, HOW do you satisfy that hurt, anger, depression, feelings for revenge, etc.?!   "You did THIS to my friend!"   Once the wrong has been righted between the two original parties, is there ANYTHING the offender actually OWES the 3rd party?   The 3rd party feels wronged, yet they have no standing, they feel angry, yet they weren't wronged - once the issue is resolved, the 3rd party becomes the guilty party for harboring ill feelings (and trying to hang onto the original conflict ... it's taken on a new life of it's own!).

Why would anyone do that though?  That goes against any rationality or logic I understand. 

Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMThe book of Job is an interesting read.  Job saw the best in life come crashing down around him ... yet he remained faithful to God.  His friends weren't much help, probing into the depths of his heart, searching for hidden fault, and his wife (curse God and die), was probably getting sick-n-tired of seeing him beaten like a dog.   We have the benefit of knowing - there was a great battle between God and Satan over the faithfulness of Job.   Sometimes it takes a L-O-N-G time to see the big picture.

Here is what I've never understood about this bet, Satan and God.   Satan knows who and what God is right and what God's attributes are, correct?  Assuming Satan knew all of this then why would Satan make such a bet knowing God is omnipotent and omniscient?   IMHO, Satan would have to be an idiot to make any bet with God and even to be God's adversary.   If Satan looked at all of this objectively then he would have to ask how would he win in the end when God knows every move one is going to make before one even makes the move or even thinks of the move.   So, why would Satan make any move or make any bet at all?

Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AM
Correct me if I got this wrong, I understand that as opposite ends of the spectrum.  Are you a Coder/programmer?  - when I was, the problem wasn't seeing the solution (which was an abstract idea/concept, we were breaking new ground, nothing is absolute), but taking absolute (code, machine language, something with limitations/boundries) to obtain the end result....   "Ok, I know what I want, THIS is capable of getting me there - but the gaps in my understanding how to implement it ... are keeping me from getting there!".   :huh:

Crap,I just re-read what I wrote.  It is poorly written and I need to clarify.   What I mean is that my natural tendency is to think in black and white terms.  This is an autistic trait.   I struggle with nuances and differing shades of grey in social situations.   For coding, once I understood the syntax I was able to work with code and create differing programs.  With people and social situations, its not like this.   Things are more nuanced.   It is difficult for me to work with 50 shades of grey.   

I don't understand the statement you made that "nothing is absolute."   If what you say is true then by its own internal logic it has to be false.   How can the statement "nothing is absolute" well be absolute?    I don't follow.   When I observe my external reality I see constraints and things relative to constraints.  Example:  1 + 1 =2.   This is true but within a certain construct.  It is true within the base 10 number system which is what we use.  1 + 1 =10 in the binary number base system.  Really 1, +, and = are really representation of concepts like quantity and equality.  One could use differing symbols.  To me, absolutes are relative to their differing constraints and once one leaves the constraints than it is no longer absolute.     Do I make sense?

Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMSince you're beholden to others (self-employed is beholden to customers!), the simple, most effective way to know/learn is to ASK.  A little humility actually reaps great rewards, "What am I doing, or not doing to...?", ask your boss / lead, "I want to understand how or what I need to do to ...."  Sometimes the answer is really good & makes sense, sometimes it constrains you to DO what they suggested, sometimes it can reveal other intentions, motivations you never considered.   At the least, it does help open worthwhile communication, and hopefully mutual trust.

What happens with my asking is this.   I can end up asking a ton of questions to make sure I am understanding what they're saying correctly and it can annoy them a lot.   Most people become annoyed with what they would perceive as an interrogation.    Is there a way around this?

Another thing, I do not know about other people but I can say for myself that my knowledge is limited.   This includes knowing what I do not know and not knowing what I don't know.   What I mean is, I may think I am doing something correctly or I understand what the boss desires but I really do not.   This also can apply in other non-work related settings as well.   This happens to me a lot.   What methods and techniques can I use for myself to overcome this without being a burden on others?  For knowing what I do not know, I can find the answer.  For things I do not realize or conceive of I would not know how it is possible to look it up or derive an answer without my being made aware of it from my boss, someone else or accidentally stumbling onto it. 

Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMAll mistakes are irreversible, knowledge and understanding is reversible - the application of it is wisdom...  Why are older dudes wiser than younger dudes?   They've had more time to learn from their mistakes and the mistakes of others.  While I was Coding, actually writing the software for a BBS, back in the '80s, I did at least 3 complete re-writes in 11 years.  Trying to put a concept into concrete is difficult.  Some mistakes (failure to backup) were costly...   I learned to marathon code, out of necessity after a major system crash, or backup corruption.

How are all mistake irreversible?   I do not follow.   If I get the wrong light bulb, I can go back to the store, return it, and get a different one.   

I can imagine why it would be costly.   You would have to re-write the code from scratch and that takes time. 

I will say that it is mostly true that older dudes are wiser than younger dudes but not totally true.   One of the issues I see with older dudes and the older generation is (maybe I'm misperceiving) but they seem to think that the younger generation knows and understands more than they really do.   This is the main issue that I see.   



Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMSpeaking of light bulbs, if you picked a green one over a red one - the results would be catastrophic in a darkroom.

Why would that be so?   Color is a frequency on the visible spectrum which are a set of frequencies on the electromagnetic spectrum?  Are you saying that different frequencies are bad in combination together?  How is that so?

Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMWhat manager doesn't want results the FIRST time, with the least effort? 

If I was a manager I would as well.   I don't think that is realistic though.  Look at Murphy's Law.  Look at Shwartz's law as well.  Shwartz said "Murphy was an optimist."   

Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMBut, if what you're doing is R&D, only an idiot would hang onto a failed idea, after it's been proven not to work.  Either the concept is bad, the effort is bad, etc., or the people trying to solve the puzzle are ill equipped to do the job - which is not their fault, that's a management issue, IMHO.   

Totally 100% Agree!

Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMThe Apostle Paul said life was like a endurance race, in which he said (Philippians 3:13-14), "Brethren, I count no myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus".   Whether it is a Christian goal or not, the advice is the same, keep looking ahead, and working toward that goal.  I might add, Paul was not without his critics!

This is why I need major assistance, as in guidance and instruction, from other people.  First, how do I determine what is correct and what is incorrect.  Unless it is blatantly obvious like murder, pedophilia, etc I do not know.   Second, in order for me to set a goal I would need to know what options I have, what my allowable moves are and what my constraints currently are.  Third, I would need to know how society worked including both what is official and unofficial.  Third, I would need to know how all of these things fits and interrelates together as a whole.  With coding, I am able to code because I understand the logic of the syntax and how the logic of the code can fit together in an allowable way.   With living life in American society, alas poor Yoric, I know not how.

Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMWe do most things because it is the RIGHT thing to do, forget the feelings of false persona.  False persona is for Actors, they do it for a living - and no honest person would ever take them SERIOUSLY, would they?  I'd rather be average than not know who or what I am.   

The thing American society just like any society has expected social standards and social norms that one is expected to follow without question.   For example, I have difficulty making eye contact or determining in the moment how much grip one is supposed to have when shaking another person's hand.   For employers and people, lack of eye contact is a deal breaker.   Even when I try to explain why I have difficulty they won't accept this.  Part of the social norms is that one has to put on this bravado of confidence.   I have fundamental problems with confidence because of this right here: 

https://whyifailedinamerica1.wordpress.com/2013/04/23/confidence-and-honesty/


Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMBLAME - That's a load I wouldn't want to pick up and carry.  Aside from attempting to rid myself of guilt, bad things can happen to good people - but we might not understand why ... for a l-o-n-g time.  Satan is called the accuser of the brethren, day and night, before the throne of God.   Keep in mind, Satan is accusing us of sins that have already been forgiven...!   Blame and Guilt seem to be pretty closely related - and curiously, both eventually lead to depression and anger.

I don't understand.   Without blaming, how can a problem be identified.   Let's say, my screen is flickering and it turns out that the back light is malfunctioning.   I've blamed the problem on the back light so therefore I can fix it.  After fixing it, problem solved.  Without assigning blame and fault then how can one identify the problem and fix the problem?  It makes no sense to me.

If we don't blame the guilty parties like the Nazis for what they did then how would have have received their trial at Nuremberg.   Without blame, how can the guilty parties be identified and receive their punishment for their crimes?

So, I don't understand the American social construct of why one is not allowed to blame others or external entities no matter the circumstances.   Let's say I was one of those inmates at the concentration camps.  Why would I not be allowed to blame the nazis for what they did then?  Why is this a social no-no?

Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMThe worst thing a man can do is pick up an offense that does not belong to him.  I ask, seriously, HOW do you satisfy that hurt, anger, depression, feelings for revenge, etc.?!   "You did THIS to my friend!"   Once the wrong has been righted between the two original parties, is there ANYTHING the offender actually OWES the 3rd party?   The 3rd party feels wronged, yet they have no standing, they feel angry, yet they weren't wronged - once the issue is resolved, the 3rd party becomes the guilty party for harboring ill feelings (and trying to hang onto the original conflict ... it's taken on a new life of it's own!).

Why would anyone do that though?  That goes against any rationality or logic I understand. 

Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMThe book of Job is an interesting read.  Job saw the best in life come crashing down around him ... yet he remained faithful to God.  His friends weren't much help, probing into the depths of his heart, searching for hidden fault, and his wife (curse God and die), was probably getting sick-n-tired of seeing him beaten like a dog.   We have the benefit of knowing - there was a great battle between God and Satan over the faithfulness of Job.   Sometimes it takes a L-O-N-G time to see the big picture.

Here is what I've never understood about this bet, Satan and God.   Satan knows who and what God is right and what God's attributes are, correct?  Assuming Satan knew all of this then why would Satan make such a bet knowing God is omnipotent and omniscient?   IMHO, Satan would have to be an idiot to make any bet with God and even to be God's adversary.   If Satan looked at all of this objectively then he would have to ask how would he win in the end when God knows every move one is going to make before one even makes the move or even thinks of the move.   So, why would Satan make any move or make any bet at all?

QuoteI wouldn't have wasted my time replying if I thought you were a helpless basket case.   Albert Einstein wasn't voted "most popular", "likely to succeed"... but, for a guy that did a lot of thinking in the ABSTRACT, he sure made a name for himself!   I can't imagine the nights he spent awake, or woke up suddenly with an, "ah HA!" ....   Or, maybe sleep was the only time his mind rested...?   Some of us ... are better problem solvers in our dreams than during waking hours.  That might be the only time God has our attention long enough to guide us in the right direction?

Funny you should say that my friend.  I've had my share of ah HA moments in which I've all of a sudden the answer just pops in my head like magic.   Weird huh?   I've noticed when this happens.  When I've wrestled with an issue for a while like a coding problem and I take a break from it by playing a game.   What I did was I put the analysis of a given problem in the background and treated it as a background process in my brain.  Sometimes playing a game or reaching a point will trigger it or it could be something someone else says.  Employers don't like it when I do this though.  They see it as wasting company time.  How am I wasting time when I'm still attempting to solve the problem but treating it as a background process?  Why can't goofing off and playing be a way of mulling out a problem so goofing off and playing becomes a form working?  Why do employers have this strict dichotomy? 

Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMGive a man a fish, feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime.

True!

Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMSell a man a fish, feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish, and miss out on a profitable business venture.

True but never thought of this. 

Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMCommunication, they say, "is a two way street, 80% them talking ... ", ... you get the idea.   I met this guy that hardly ever said anything, but was a great listener.   When he did speak up, it was profound.  He replied more often with his FACIAL EXPRESSIONS than with WORDS. Nodding, Ah huh, raising his eyebrows, wincing, smiling - all on que like he was living or reflecting the story he was being told.  That guy figured out the communication stuff pretty good, IMHO.

Communication is my Achilles's heel because a lot of it is the facial expressions, tone of voice and other non-verbal language.  If you heard me speak in real life, my voice sounds like Ben Stein, monotone.  I do have problems with eye contact but I can sort of look at the bridge of your nose.  I am mind blind meaning I don't pick up other people's non-verbal language so I can end up speaking in a lecture-based style without realizing that the other person is bored with my speaking.  I have problems with putting myself in the other people's shoes and have difficulty with theory of mind. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_mind

So, I wouldn't understand why a behavior I displayed would be considered trolling or rude or lazy unless it was explained to me as to why. 


Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMThe only thing I'd add, you can be the HERO to the people you work for (fixing their problems, helping them), or picture them as the complete idiots, helpless as they are, simpletons - like the rest of the burnt out IT people that write jokes about them.  It will effect you and the way you approach your job, whether or not you achieve any satisfaction or feel like a cog in a machine.  I see both types all the time at my regular job.  My original remarks about taking a hobby, possibly turning it into a profitable venture... shouldn't be passed off lightly.

I don't have access to other people's mind and thinking so how would it be logical for me to think of them as simpletons.  More than likely, they have a different neurology than I do.  I just wouldn't understand what it was.   For the upper management like the CEO, I do know that his or her goal is to make a profit for the company's shareholders and they have to do other techniques so they can avoid law suits.  This reminds me.   This is why I have mixed feelings for the Disability Rights act when it comes to employment.  By having this act, it turns me and others with other disabilities into liabilities so if they have to fire us for something we could easily bring a million dollar lawsuit.   What employers do is create their processes to fit the law.   Would there be a way in which I could be employed and be an asset and not a liability?  These are questions I and others like myself have to ask ourselves?   How can we get what we need yet be an asset to our employers or be self-employed or something else altogether? 

I would have to find a piece of candy that is allowed to fit into differing jars. 

QuoteOne of the reasons people start a business while working a full time job is to keep necessary benefits, healthcare, 401K, whatever.  It takes a load off a new venture so fixed costs don't eat up everything while you're trying to get it going.   That can take 2-5 years.  Been there... done that.  It also gives you TIME to tweek the way you're doing business, get schooling, make contacts, make sales, etc., without the PRESSURE to perform.   If you have a bad couple of weeks or months, so what!?  You keep the house, car, etc., the bills are still being paid.  IMHO, the biggest time waster is TV, followed closely by INTERNET usage, if they cannot enhance what you want to do, then choose to do without.  I can build antennas & listen to the radio.  I cannot do anything with a TV begging for my attention.

I agree mostly but sometimes one has to have some downtime.   Really, one has to keep a balance for himself and maintain perspective.  This is a part of time management.   I have major issues with this as well and wish I could get some assistance by others to help effectively manage my day and to navigate what I can and should do?   

Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMLastly - WHAT do you want to do?  If you don't know, what do you do with your free time?  What do your friends do with their free time that you like to hang out while they're doing it?  Still a no-go...?   On your next vacation, do something you've never done before, go somewhere, and talk to the people that are doing things of interest to you.... then ask yourself again.

I will have to definitely keep my eye out and attempt to follow your advice.  Maybe I will be inspired by something I see or find.  Who knows?  I wouldn't have wasted my time replying if I thought you were a helpless basket case.   Albert Einstein wasn't voted "most popular", "likely to succeed"... but, for a guy that did a lot of thinking in the ABSTRACT, he sure made a name for himself!   I can't imagine the nights he spent awake, or woke up suddenly with an, "ah HA!" ....   Or, maybe sleep was the only time his mind rested...?   Some of us ... are better problem solvers in our dreams than during waking hours.  That might be the only time God has our attention long enough to guide us in the right direction?[/quote]

Funny you should say that my friend.  I've had my share of ah HA moments in which I've all of a sudden the answer just pops in my head like magic.   Weird huh?   I've noticed when this happens.  When I've wrestled with an issue for a while like a coding problem and I take a break from it by playing a game.   What I did was I put the analysis of a given problem in the background and treated it as a background process in my brain.  Sometimes playing a game or reaching a point will trigger it or it could be something someone else says.  Employers don't like it when I do this though.  They see it as wasting company time.  How am I wasting time when I'm still attempting to solve the problem but treating it as a background process?  Why can't goofing off and playing be a way of mulling out a problem so goofing off and playing becomes a form working?  Why do employers have this strict dichotomy? 

Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMGive a man a fish, feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime.

True!

Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMSell a man a fish, feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish, and miss out on a profitable business venture.

True but never thought of this. 

Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMCommunication, they say, "is a two way street, 80% them talking ... ", ... you get the idea.   I met this guy that hardly ever said anything, but was a great listener.   When he did speak up, it was profound.  He replied more often with his FACIAL EXPRESSIONS than with WORDS. Nodding, Ah huh, raising his eyebrows, wincing, smiling - all on que like he was living or reflecting the story he was being told.  That guy figured out the communication stuff pretty good, IMHO.

Communication is my Achilles's heel because a lot of it is the facial expressions, tone of voice and other non-verbal language.  If you heard me speak in real life, my voice sounds like Ben Stein, monotone.  I do have problems with eye contact but I can sort of look at the bridge of your nose.  I am mind blind meaning I don't pick up other people's non-verbal language so I can end up speaking in a lecture-based style without realizing that the other person is bored with my speaking.  I have problems with putting myself in the other people's shoes and have difficulty with theory of mind. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_mind

So, I wouldn't understand why a behavior I displayed would be considered trolling or rude or lazy unless it was explained to me as to why. 


Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMThe only thing I'd add, you can be the HERO to the people you work for (fixing their problems, helping them), or picture them as the complete idiots, helpless as they are, simpletons - like the rest of the burnt out IT people that write jokes about them.  It will effect you and the way you approach your job, whether or not you achieve any satisfaction or feel like a cog in a machine.  I see both types all the time at my regular job.  My original remarks about taking a hobby, possibly turning it into a profitable venture... shouldn't be passed off lightly.

I don't have access to other people's mind and thinking so how would it be logical for me to think of them as simpletons.  More than likely, they have a different neurology than I do.  I just wouldn't understand what it was.   For the upper management like the CEO, I do know that his or her goal is to make a profit for the company's shareholders and they have to do other techniques so they can avoid law suits.  This reminds me.   This is why I have mixed feelings for the Disability Rights act when it comes to employment.  By having this act, it turns me and others with other disabilities into liabilities so if they have to fire us for something we could easily bring a million dollar lawsuit.   What employers do is create their processes to fit the law.   Would there be a way in which I could be employed and be an asset and not a liability?  These are questions I and others like myself have to ask ourselves?   How can we get what we need yet be an asset to our employers or be self-employed or something else altogether? 

I would have to find a piece of candy that is allowed to fit into differing jars. 

QuoteOne of the reasons people start a business while working a full time job is to keep necessary benefits, healthcare, 401K, whatever.  It takes a load off a new venture so fixed costs don't eat up everything while you're trying to get it going.   That can take 2-5 years.  Been there... done that.  It also gives you TIME to tweek the way you're doing business, get schooling, make contacts, make sales, etc., without the PRESSURE to perform.   If you have a bad couple of weeks or months, so what!?  You keep the house, car, etc., the bills are still being paid.  IMHO, the biggest time waster is TV, followed closely by INTERNET usage, if they cannot enhance what you want to do, then choose to do without.  I can build antennas & listen to the radio.  I cannot do anything with a TV begging for my attention.

I agree mostly but sometimes one has to have some downtime.   Really, one has to keep a balance for himself and maintain perspective.  This is a part of time management.   I have major issues with this as well and wish I could get some assistance by others to help effectively manage my day and to navigate what I can and should do?   

Quote from: kj4adn on September 09, 2015, 05:05:59 AMLastly - WHAT do you want to do?  If you don't know, what do you do with your free time?  What do your friends do with their free time that you like to hang out while they're doing it?  Still a no-go...?   On your next vacation, do something you've never done before, go somewhere, and talk to the people that are doing things of interest to you.... then ask yourself again.

I will try.

Solar

Cube, I see that you focus on the negatives of autism, but with every disability, comes an enhanced ability.
What would you say your stronger assets are, given this issue, and can you develop them into a marketable asset?
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We just dropped our home internet, Centurylink just couldn't get the billing to match up with the promises over the phone, nor the speed, etc., etc., etc. - so I can't take much time to respond.

Absolutes are not in the programmer's mindset - limitations are in the imagination.
11 = 3 or eleven...  depends on the language, right?

When I realized there were gaps in my training/learning/programming - I went back to night school.   A couple of times, the instructor ASKED me to help teach the class.  I could have said, "what the heck did I just pay for?" - or use it as an opportunity to learn how to better formulate what I knew.   

The end result was, I actually learned more from listening to students frustration (trying to learn logic), than I did the instructor, and learned how a user actually approaches an interface - Ie., what is or is not "user friendly", and wound up programming multiple GUI so the Expert user had theirs, intermediate had theirs, and the beginner had theirs, with help descriptions.   THAT kind of interface does not exist on the internet, trust me, nobody has bothered with it.

A long time ago, while starting to get one of my businesses off-the-ground, one of my clients remarked, "Why don't you smile a little?"   Whoa!   He was right, I didn't smile hardly at all - so I would practice in a mirror, a smile, "I'm so GLAD to see you!!!" or a "Yeah, I think you're onto something."  and a "You can trust me, I'm your friend."   Did I feel like it?   Initially NO!   but, a few seconds into the conversation, and they'd be facially responding, and my smile would become that much more genuine - I started to feel like they actually appreciated me.  Feelings come and go, doing the right thing, is always the right thing.   If you're getting negative feedback when you ask questions - well, ask yourself, who wants to look into a sour face for more than a minute?

During the production of one of Alfred Hitchcock's movies, one of the actresses, said, "I don't think I can do that..."  his reply was, "then FAKE IT".   ...simple wisdom...

If you put the wrong color light bulb in a dark room, the film/paper is ruined, the results are irreversable.  We cannot reverse TIME.  We can learn and not repeat the same mistake.   History is history, a past event, mistakes are irreversable, What we think or do... is reversable, it's also called repentance (to change your mind and thereafter act in a different direction/mode).

Managers like positive results.   When I was a construction electrician, my crew might spend most of the day moving conduit, reels of wire, etc., to a storage location before the work really began.   If I knew the BOSS was going to stop by, I'd tell the guys, "get going on getting some pipe on the ceiling, in the walls, etc., SHOW SOME PROGRESS..." - the Boss would walk onto the job site, see a pile of stuff, but, when he saw the pipe running across the ceiling, in the walls, he'd say, "That's what I like about Bill, everyday, I see he's making PROGRESS."  I wouldn't have to explain, make up excuses, etc., he could SEE FOR HIMSELF, things were getting done, the goal was going to be reached.   Murphy's Law or not, I was determined to be able to look back at the end of the day and see some kind of progress.  IMHO - that's also called, "Self-starter".

Confidence is faked... by everyone, at some time.   Many times, I've walked off to a quiet place, got on my knees, and said, "Lord, you know everything, by your word alone, everything is held together.  Help me to understand what is wrong, guide me in how to FIX this and get it working again."   Got up, walked back out and with a "fresh set of eyes" started working through the problem again, and sooner than I expected, it's almost like the problem was staring right  back at me.   People probably thought I was nuts, muttering "Thank you Lord".   My confidence is not in my ability, knowledge or strength, but in God's ability to give me the tools to get do the job.   I can do literally anything the Lord asks me to .... however, doubtful I might be!

OK - the crux of the real question:   Focusing on what COUNTS, the goal ahead.  the Westminster confession answers the question, what is the chief end of man?   "To Glorify God and enjoy Him forever."   That's not some pie-in-the-sky-unreachable-goal, is it?  As a matter of fact, it sounds pretty POSITIVE and encouraging to me!

"Forever" .... started already, it doesn't start 10 days from now, it is now, right here, today, this moment - from here on to eternity.

Quote from: Solar on September 10, 2015, 08:06:17 AM
Cube, I see that you focus on the negatives of autism, but with every disability, comes an enhanced ability.
What would you say your stronger assets are, given this issue, and can you develop them into a marketable asset?

Solar is correct.   ...enhanced ability is what sets an individual apart...  Or, can I say, "God's Gift"...?
I'm 11" taller than my wife.   I have a built-in step-ladder for reaching things.  She is just the right height to massage my back, give me a huge hug...  She is God's gift to me.   I'm "O-negative" blood type, and negative for some other anti-body that makes me a pediatric donor.   For years, the Blood Center had me on an on-call list, or every 5 weeks.  God also gave me that ability - ... I didn't think much of it, I just did it, because it seemed like the right thing to do.

Autism is a handicap to the individual that wants it to be their handicap.

Eye contact...  look directly into the eyes, study them, see how the red around the pupil is there, how the Iris looks like a star burst - what's so hard about that?   Because eyes are the windows of the soul, yeah, it's not easy, but it somehow helps to intimately bond and communicate sincerity while just talking.  Force yourself, just like smiling, force yourself - you'll come across as being "confident".

When I refer BLAME - simply put, do not personalize another persons wrongs.   "You hurt my friend, I hold you responsible to fix MY hurt feelings"  - there is no resolution for you.  The debt can be settled between offended parties, by cannot with you, because you've assumed the offender owes you too!   Yes, illogical, but logic easily rationalized away.  We don't always know, understand the whole story.
My take on Satan is simple - he is not God.   He made his choice, and will face his end, and I am not interested in emphasizing with him.   One of Satan's titles "The Accuser of the Bretheren.", is/was earned.  No thanks.

I kinda like the Westminster confession, "Glorify God and enjoy Him forever" ... a good place to start reading about it, is the Bible.  The Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke & John) are quite interesting ... lots of very interesting interaction between Jesus & ordinary people.   Just read it like a newspaper to get the overview, don't expect to grasp everything on the first read.  Or, if you drive some distance to work, listen to it in the car, bus or as you're tooling down the road.  There are many free narrations online - I have 6 of them, and find it interesting to hear the different emphasis people place on some passages.

From here, my time on the internet will be quite limited, unfortunately.   Time to hit the road again, for work tonight.
All animals are created equal; Some just take longer to cook.   Survival is keeping an eye on those around you...

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Quote from: kj4adn on September 10, 2015, 11:05:19 AM
When I realized there were gaps in my training/learning/programming - I went back to night school.   A couple of times, the instructor ASKED me to help teach the class.  I could have said, "what the heck did I just pay for?" - or use it as an opportunity to learn how to better formulate what I knew.

I know this is off-topic but out of curiousity was this at ITT? The same thing happened to me.

cubedemon

Sorry Bill about your Internet service.  I know that sucks.

Anyway, I don't really have much time to write either and I will respond more thoroughly when I get a chance.   

What I can say is the communication differences and style between me and the other members of this forum is extremely fascinating to me. 

cubedemon

Quote from: kj4adn on September 10, 2015, 11:05:19 AMManagers like positive results.   When I was a construction electrician, my crew might spend most of the day moving conduit, reels of wire, etc., to a storage location before the work really began.   If I knew the BOSS was going to stop by, I'd tell the guys, "get going on getting some pipe on the ceiling, in the walls, etc., SHOW SOME PROGRESS..." - the Boss would walk onto the job site, see a pile of stuff, but, when he saw the pipe running across the ceiling, in the walls, he'd say, "That's what I like about Bill, everyday, I see he's making PROGRESS."  I wouldn't have to explain, make up excuses, etc., he could SEE FOR HIMSELF, things were getting done, the goal was going to be reached.   Murphy's Law or not, I was determined to be able to look back at the end of the day and see some kind of progress.  IMHO - that's also called, "Self-starter".

This is an excellent example of what is called theory of mind.   I really love this example and illustrates perfectly I have difficulty functioning with other people.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_mind

You were able to understand "that others have beliefs, desires, intentions, and perspectives that are different from one's own."   For me, I understand that people have differing beliefs, desires, intentions and perspectives but I have difficulty understanding what they are.   You are able to do this well. 

Now imagine yourself as not having this ability or it is diminished.   Imagine that you're not able to anticipate your boss's beliefs, desires, intentions and his perspectives.   Without this ability would you have been able to ""get going on getting some pipe on the ceiling, in the walls, etc., SHOW SOME PROGRESS..."  For me, I would not have thought of this angle.       Because of this, we would've spent the entire day bringing the stuff over whether the boss was coming or not.   

Boss would've complained that there was no progress and we were going to slow.   I' would've argued we have to be able to bring everything over before we can do anything.   More than likely I would've been fired.     I would've considered the boss a jerk with unreasonable and impossible to meet standards.

Without this knowledge of what you would have done I would not known what I could have done differently, where I was wrong in my actions and why.

Part of this diminished theory of mind is some of your reactions to my posts.  I don't understand why you all reacted the way you did instead (calling me a whiner, socialist, etc) of discussing where my logic was off .   Was it my posting style?   Was it the content?   

Another example, is this focus on my attitude and my lack of confidence as in focusing in on my emotional state instead of trying to look at things that lead up to my emotional state.   I don't understand why one's attitude and confidence is hyped upon so much in lieu of logic and rationality. 

You say everyone fakes confidence from time to time.   Can you please explain that concept further.  I didn't know this and I wouldn't even know how to fake confidence?   

I've had to use logic and rationality to attempt to compensate which makes me hyper-rational.   It can only get me so far.  In order for me to become functional, I would need to have certain things explained to me in a rational and logical manner and breaking things down to me.  Once I can get the syntax of how things work, I can shine and I can soar.   Once I am able to understand how nature works and why, I can obey nature therefore commanding nature like Francis Bacon said.


cubedemon

Quote from: Solar on September 10, 2015, 08:06:17 AM
Cube, I see that you focus on the negatives of autism, but with every disability, comes an enhanced ability.
What would you say your stronger assets are, given this issue, and can you develop them into a marketable asset?

How?  How do I do that?

Solar

Quote from: cubedemon on September 11, 2015, 07:41:10 AM
How?  How do I do that?
What, you don't see any upside to your issue?
In the 60s I was a definite case of ADHD, so damned distracted and hyper, not only did I get on everybodys nerves, I got on my own.
Thing is, ADHD is also a benefit, you notice everything, every detail most people never even see, I was constantly aware of my surrounds, so much so it came as a huge asset as a private investigator.

So you see, even the worst maladies have an upside, like a blind mans sense of hearing is greatly improved, or rather he learns to develop other senses to offset his disability.

I'm sure you've studied all there is to know about the disorder as I have mine, and the one thing that helped greatly for me, was Omega-3 Fatty Acids.
Check out this page and see if you find something new.

http://www.todaysdietitian.com/newarchives/010713p46.shtml
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Solar, you're ADHD? No fucking way...I never would have guessed that. LOL