A humerous look at political correctness

Started by The Observer, October 28, 2014, 06:17:49 PM

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The Observer

I attribute the following to an anonymous author on the web. I've simply adapted it to reflect America instead of the UK. This is political correctness. Change the U.S. to the UK, substitute the animals for people and this is what's happening now. For those who haven't read it, it's old, it's hilarious, but it's true.

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.  The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs, dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press  conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed  to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the  grasshopper, are cold and starving.

CNN show up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.

The Huffington Post informs people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

The Democrats, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of America demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house.  The CNN, interrupting a cultural festival special from Chicago with breaking news, broadcasts a multi-cultural choir singing "We Shall Overcome".

Nancy Pelosi rants in an interview with Piers Morgan that the squirrel has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his "fair share" and proposes a payment for squirrels to enter Inner cities.

In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The squirrel's taxes are reassessed by the IRS.  He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers  as builders for the work he was doing on his home and an additional  fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work.

The grasshopper is provided with project housing, welfare to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile.

The squirrel's food is seized and re distributed to the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper.  Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home.

The government takes over his old home and utilizes it as a temporary home for Mexican asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to America as they had to share their country of origin with mice. On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of America's apparent love of dogs.

The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempted bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from peoples credit cards.

A White House special news broadcast shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of  the squirrel's food, though spring is still months away, while the  project house he is in crumbles around him because he hasn't  bothered to maintain the house. He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshopper's drug 'illness'.

The cats seek recompense in the Supreme Court for their treatment since arrival in the U.S.

The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit.  He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks.  He is placed in the care of the aftercare service to monitor and supervise him. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.

A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost $10,000,000 and state the obvious, is set up. Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased.

The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching America's multicultural diversity and dogs are criticized by the government for failing to befriend the cats. The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose.

The usual sections of the left wing press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison.  They call for the resignation of a republican politician. The cats are paid a million dollars each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in the U.S.

The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses and their taxes are increased to pay for law and order.

Oh and the Squirrel? He moved abroad to a more sensible country!  :smile:

Solar

Quote from: The Observer on October 28, 2014, 06:17:49 PM
I attribute the following to an anonymous author on the web. I've simply adapted it to reflect America instead of the UK.

Oh and the Squirrel? He moved abroad to a more sensible country:smile:
Yet you have the temerity of calling me a troll?
Not to mention a bit of plagiarism.
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The Observer

Quote from: Solar on October 29, 2014, 08:36:12 PM

Not to mention a bit of plagiarism.

I attribute the following to an anonymous author on the web.

Good God, its like teaching ten year olds.  :sad:

Solar

#3
Quote from: The Observer on October 29, 2014, 10:08:20 PM
I attribute the following to an anonymous author on the web.

Good God, its like teaching ten year olds.  :sad:
Just because "YOU" claim the author to be anonymous, is merely an excuse and one that would never stand in court.

Yet you claim others of being 10 yro delinquents, while using the excuse a 7 year old would use when caught cheating by the teacher.
Pay attention my little commie student, you may yet learn something.
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#WWG1WGA

Q PATRIOT!!!

taxed

Quote from: The Observer on October 29, 2014, 10:08:20 PM
I attribute the following to an anonymous author on the web.

Good God, its like teaching ten year olds.  :sad:

This clueless thing you're doing really isn't an act, is it?
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